


it's not the same anymore

by ezwra



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: (brief) - Freeform, Aftermath of Torture, Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Grand Theft Auto Setting, Arguing, Blood and Gore, Broken Bones, Canon-Typical Violence, Changing Tenses, Complicated Relationships, Crushes, Denial of Feelings, Fade to black sex, Fake AH Crew, Female Jack Pattillo, Gun Violence, Hand Jobs, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Kink Negotiation, M/M, Making Up, Multiple Orgasms, Past Torture, Patching Each Other Up, Returning Home, Service Kink, Smoking, Teasing, Texting, Torture, Trans Gavin Free, Vaginal Fingering, Weed, Yearning..., homoerotic scenes of medical care, technically, why is that not a tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:14:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 30,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25336690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ezwra/pseuds/ezwra
Summary: So many feelings struggling to leave my mouthAnd it's not that rare for meTo let myself down in a big wayit's not the same anymore - rex orange county
Relationships: Gavin Free/Ryan Haywood, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 55





	it's not the same anymore

**Author's Note:**

> THIS WORK IS BASED SOLELY OFF OF FANDOM REFERENCES AND CHARACTERISATIONS. I am writing this to rt/ah guidelines as best as I know them. I do not know of their in video personas as I havent watched regularly since 2014. These are characters based on / referencing real people, but are not those people.
> 
> this isnt the long fic i keep talking about but it's actually longer than that now so...yeah. had the idea last week or the week before and ran with it, wrote a little everyday without a plan as a test to see how it was. found it majorly fun! i feel bad for the long fics i thoroughly planned now because now i understand why i just wont write them....yikes
> 
> texts are in italics, past is also in italics but is separated from scenes by a double dash -- 
> 
> minor ship is mainly doolray, but there's also lots of close friendships between gavin and the others
> 
> if you want any specific warnings drop a message on my tumblr @ezwra
> 
> 15/08/2020 UPDATE: went through and fixed some sentence structures and grammatical issues, not much has been changed and nothing major has been added

_Gavin didn't expect the call when it came._

_It was strange. Gavin had normally been the one to call Geoff first since the man didn't know what Gavin might be doing at any time. It was safer that way. So when the older man’s initials showed up on his phone and the device vibrated his entire desk, Gavin was notably shocked._

_He picked up the phone and paused, caret flashing idly next to whatever he was typing out on the screen at the time. Probably an email to Dan or some coding._

_Gavin’s thumb hovered over decline for a few moments. It was too late where he was staying, a small apartment in some random city up north, and he couldn't imagine the reason Geoff might be calling would be good. It was a few weeks since their last call._

_He answered the call. “Geoffrey,” he said, leaning back in his chair and sighing out, “it’s late.”_

_“Not like you're sleeping anyway,” Geoff retorted. He has a point. “How are things across the pond?”_

_“Fine.” Gavin’s heart was in his throat. It was so fucking strange. He would call Geoff in his own time but it would still feel like business, checking in with his boss and giving proof of life. Maybe all this time away has changed their relationship more than he thought. “Did you need something?”_

_A pause. “Yeah, actually.” Geoff cleared his throat. Something was put down on the other end. “We need a hacker for this job coming up. An extra set of hands.”_

_“No B-Team?”_

_“Not for this,” Gavin could hear the frown. As much as it hurt to think it, it had been much too long for Geoff to expect Gavin to return at the drop of a hat. He had his own business in Europe now, much too busy. “We could use your expertise. Jack misses you, too.”_ I miss you _went unsaid, but Gavin had too much practice in reading between the lines to miss it._

_Gavin sighed. “Geoff…”_

_“It can be temporary,” Geoff rushed to explain, almost desperate, “we can hash out a contract and everything. As soon as it’s done you can jet off again if you need to, but it would be great to see you again and do some work together. Michael hasn’t seen you for a while, and you should meet our new members.”_

_Gavin couldn't really guess if they were actually new or not. It had been nearly five years since he left._

_“Call me in the morning,” Gavin sighed, “let me sleep on it.”_

_“Ray is heading out your way anyway, give him a message if you decide to take the job and he’ll bring you home with him in two weeks.”_

Home _. The word made his heart ache. He hadn't had a home for a long while._

\--

Gavin sighs, looking out the window of the private jet. He hasn't been to the US for a while, and flying for too long makes him restless despite the nature of his work.

“Hey,” Ray says. He’s sat across from Gavin, his hand luggage on the seat next to him. He offers the bong in his hand with a slight tilt, raising his brows, “wanna hit? Chills me out on planes.”

Gavin gives it a mustering look before shaking his head, “nah, thanks though.”

Ray shrugs and lifts the clipper in his hand. It lights easily and the bubble of the water is oddly loud as Gavin returns to looking out the window.

“He probably won't say it,” Ray starts, his voice deep as he breathes out the smoke. He coughs. “But Michael is real excited to see you again. Every time I come back from seeing you it’s _how’s my boy_ this and _did he talk about me_ that. I'm going insane. It’s like high school again."

“You didn't go to high school, Ray.” Gavin keeps his eyes on the clouds as he talks. A group of birds occasionally rise above them. They make him feel strange, envious almost.

“Yeah, well,” another rip of the bong. He puts the glass on the table between them, “s’what it’s probably like.”

They sit in silence for about five minutes until Ray sighs. “Look at me.” Gavin obeys easily, dragging his gaze away from the swooping birds and directing it to Ray. He’s too tired to really put effort into fighting anything. “Do you wanna do this?”

Gavin pulls a face and looks down, picking at his nails and the cracked black polish. 

“Gavin. _Vav_ ,” that nickname always makes him weak, even now. He’s spoken to Ray the most since his departure from the crew since the other lad takes contracts in Europe a lot; his part-time status makes it easier for him to travel for work. “If you don't wanna fuckin’ do this, just say so. Geoff can find someone else.”

“It’s fine.”

“It obviously isn't,” Ray says, frowning heavily, “but whatever.”

Gavin sighs, picking up his bottle of water and picking at the label. Half of it was used in Ray’s bong. It takes him a while to find the right words, and when he speaks Ray almost looks surprised. “I'm nervous.”

Ray doesn't say anything. Gavin looks up to see a look of encouragement on his face.

“It’s been a long time,” Gavin says, putting the water bottle back down and twisting his rings instead. “I know things will be different. I know _I'm_ different. I don't know how they’re going to react to that.”

Ray nods slowly. “They’re still the same people. It’s gonna be weird for a while, yeah, but they love you too much to care.”

“You say that like you don't love me too, X-Ray.”

Ray laughs. The nerves don't leave.

-

The hotel Gavin chooses on the flight over is a luxury, five star type deal. There’s a gym and a pool and it feels weird to spend so much money on a room he will only sleep in for a day or two until his apartment lease is signed. He’s thirty now, not twenty-five. A motel would have been fine, _should_ have been fine, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it for some reason. 

Geoff, of course, had offered his old room in the penthouse - completely untouched since he left and well maintained - but he declined without hesitation. It didn't feel right.

Gavin separates from Ray at the airport since they're not going to the same place. Calls an Uber and loads his luggage in the back and gives the address. It feels like second nature now, too much time travelling has its perks but the boredom leaves him near suicidal.

The hotel is swanky and shiny and he almost denies the bell-boy’s help after the the Uber driver has been thanked, swiftly remembers how fucking _exhausted_ he is and then accepts the help. The walk to the reception desk is too long and he just wants to lay down somewhere.

He tips the bell-boy with a fistful of notes and a tight smile, shutting the door carefully after hanging a _do not disturb_ sign on the door. The room is too large and the sheets are too white. The bed is too soft and the pillows are too hard and everything feels _too much_. Los Santos has become too much. 

Gavin considers leaving.

It would be easy. He hasn't even checked in with Geoff or Jack or Michael yet so it wouldn't hurt too much to rip that band-aid right now. He could just text Ray, tell him he made a mistake, and disappear back to Europe with his tail between his legs. Geoff wouldn't call him for a job again and he could live semi-peacefully in the UK.

His phone vibrates in his pocket and he pulls it out, flopping back onto the bed.

_[glr]: u coming?_

_[Gavino freebird]; Tomorrow. I need some sleep._

_[glr]: [thumbs up]_

_[glr]: it will b good 2 c u again_

_[Gavino freebird]: You too, Geoff._

_[glr]: come over 4 breakfast. 10am._

Gavin doesn't answer, just drops his phone to the floor next to the bed and covers his eyes with his forearm. He sighs.

-

Gavin must have fallen asleep because the next time he opens his eyes it’s ten minutes until ten am and there’s some texts on his phone asking if he needs a ride. 

He’s going to be late. He almost feels bad, thinks about when he was younger and how he would fight for every moment of the crew’s affection and attention. It’s being handed to him now on a silver platter and he can barely find the energy within himself to get out of bed to go and say hello to the people that are family. That _used_ to be family. Gavin doesn't know how to refer to them all, they’re in a strange grey area of _close friends_ and _complete strangers_.

Eventually, when his phone vibrates again, Gavin pushes himself up and wanders into the bathroom. He showers, brushes his teeth, and trims his beard. He’s been growing it out recently, it reminds him of Geoff in a funny way, but he decides that maybe just some stubble is fine. He gels his hair and walks back out into the bedroom completely starkers.

He sits on the bed and looks in the floor to ceiling mirror. He’s changed too much. He’s more toned and muscular than he used to be and there’s obvious ageing, something behind his eyes that says he’s grown beyond years. He’s almost bronze and his hair is sun bleached from his recent stint in Spain and the summer in the UK. Too many scars from too many jobs alone. Too many stories. Too much change.

Gavin sighs. 

He pulls open his suitcase and takes out some clothes, a light blue button up and some dark blue skinny jeans, his jewellery. It feels weird to be dressing like this in Los Santos, no longer the timid hacker he was. Now a hardened criminal - a front man, an interrogator, a _killer_.

His hand shakes over the door handle. He does a double check for his phone, his key card, his wallet. His suitcase of tech is hidden under his bed and locked. He walks out with a shaky breath and locks the door.

The walk to the penthouse isn't long, Gavin is smart enough to know that getting a hotel outside of Fake territory is a bad idea. The closer he gets to the building, the faster his heart races and sweat beads on his hairline. He checks his phone as he enters the building. It’s ten forty-five.

He goes straight to the elevator and presses the button for the top floor. It feels like walking to the gallows, like doing this is somehow signing off the rest of his life to something terrible. Gavin manages to compose himself as the door opens to the hallway leading to the door. There’s dents in the walls and plants scattered around and it’s so much homier than he expected.

Gavin walks to the front door and stands there, hand hovering over the door in a tight fist. If he listens closely, he can hear loud chatter from inside, cutlery hitting plates and _laughter_. 

He knocks.

The chatter stops immediately. Gavin steps back from the door and crosses his arms, gripping his elbows and digging his bitten nails into his shirt and flesh. The door opens.

Geoff has changed. 

He’s thinner, brighter. His clothes, as casual as they are, are clean and neat. He’s got so many more tattoos, his hands are covered in them now.

Geoff hugs him. It’s sudden, and as much as Gavin hates when a feeling, something like joy, rises up in his throat. He hugs back just as tight, sighing out as he presses his nose into Geoff’s neck.

“You’re old,” Gavin says, laughing wetly.

Geoff barks out a laugh too, pulling away and gripping Gavin’s shoulders. His hold is tight and grounding, and Gavin smiles at him. It’s a genuine smile, too. “You too, dipshit,” Geoff teases, smirking before hugging him tight again, “fuckin’ ay, kid, i missed the shit outta you.”

“I missed you too.” Gavin says, and he means it.

This time, when Geoff pulls away, they start to walk into the penthouse. The layout seems pretty much the same, but the furniture is much higher quality and the walls have much more wear and tear. 

When they round the corner into the kitchen, Gavin’s kinda shocked at how many people there are. They’ve pushed two tables together to have enough space, one a circle and one a square but the mismatched decor _works_ and it makes Gavin’s heart ache at how much he missed this.

There’s two new faces at the table. Well, technically only _one_ , since the other is wearing a mask. 

Before he can ask anything, he’s being pushed into a chair between Ray and Michael, and the latter is already reaching in for a hug. It's nice, and Michael still smells like smoke and copper.

“Been a fuckin' while, dickhead,” Michael says, voice harsh but Gavin knows he doesn't mean it, “could’a taken some time to say hello, cunt.”

Gavin laughs tiredly, rolling his eyes and pulling back to look at him, “missed you too, Michael boy.”

It’s overwhelming. Everything is the same but also so different. Lindsay is louder and Geoff is kinder and Michael is happier. Ray is still quiet but he joins in more than he used to. Jack is smiling so bright where she’s cooking at the counter and she keeps chipping into the conversations. The newbie with the mask is silent but the bald one bounces off of Lindsay and Michael with ease and something like discomfort rises in Gavin’s chest as he watches it all, but he manages to keep a smile on his face.

\--

_Gavin started to feel restless, at first._

_It was unfamiliar, this specific type of restlessness. He couldn't dissipate it with Michael and Geoff during bevs, or by completing jobs. So he started to tag along with Geoff on talks and deals with other crews. At first just through the earpiece, then in person. It took awhile for him to get a job without Geoff over his shoulder, nearly a year of training, but when that freedom came it was intoxicating._

_It felt amazing, being able to take control of a situation and twist his words like a noose. It felt like being in the action, despite the lack of gunfire, and it was such a huge change from being behind a screen 24/7 that he almost began to resent the hacking jobs he was given. They made him feel like a weak link in a chain, and he despised it._

_That first job was the initial strike. Every job that wasn't in the field, every day that he didn't get to go out there and do anything, he was left chomping at the bit._

_Sometimes he would go out to bars, get shitfaced drunk and pick fights with as many people as he could. That ended up with him getting beaten most of the time, but the pain was_ good _so he kept doing it whenever that disturbing restlessness arose._

_Geoff eventually caught on, of course, and started to send Michael around with him as a bodyguard. This left the both of them equally as restless, if not more so, and added a sour note to their friendship._

\--

Breakfast finishes not long after he arrives, and he’s quickly pulled into Geoff’s office alongside someone that wasn't at the breakfast.

“Gavin,” Geoff stands to the side of the desk and the stranger sits in his seat. Gavin almost feels offended, that’s _Geoff’s_ seat, what the fuck does he think he’s doing? “This is Trevor. He handles our finances and business. He also works as our thief part time.”

 _Trevor_ holds his hand out with a kind smile, and Gavin grips it tightly when they shake. “Nice to meet you,” he says. Gavin’s opinion of the man is already low, so he just mutters _you too_ and sits down with a heavy frown.

“We need to hash out the intricacies of your contract,” Trevor continues, opening a large book to the side and a file in front of himself on the desk, “just to make sure that, y’know, everyone’s happy.”

Gavin looks at Geoff, but the older man resolutely doesn't look back. Gavin sighs out, “yes, I suppose,” and looks back at Trevor.

“Geoff said this might be a permanent place for you after this job, is that true?”

Gavin’s heart races and his fists clench in his lap, “no,” he grits out, “i was unaware of that.”

The room feels colder, suddenly, and Trevor can obviously sense most of the discomfort. He clears his throat, “oh,” he writes in the book, “okay then.”

There's a pregnant pause. Gavin doesn't look at Geoff’s disappointed expression.

Trevor quickly moves on without trying to continue that point, “Our offered pay for your work is twenty-five thousand US dollars.”

Everything that comes out of Trevor’s mouth feels like an insult.

That was his original pay when he was in the crew, and nowhere _near_ what Geoff had offered in the document Ray gave him. He takes a deep breath and forces himself to calm down. “There must have been some communication error,” he speaks slowly and clearly, brows furrowed. “The original file said one-hundred thousand UK pounds.”

“Gavin…” Geoff sighs, “you wouldn't have come here if I’d offered less,” he explains, but before he can continue Gavin pinches the bridge of his own nose.

“Damn fucking right!” he sighs out tensely, gritting his teeth, “I get it, you wanted to see me, but this was _not_ the way to do it.”

Geoff opens his mouth to say something, but Trevor cuts in quickly, “I can offer you seventy five thousand US dollars, but i can't go much higher without cutting someone else’s pay or going into the crew reserves.”

“Fine,” Gavin agrees after a moment, “but my weapons and ammo are coming from the reserve, not my cut.”

“Okay then,” Trevor nods, “for security reasons we’ll need to know where you’re staying-”

“No,” Gavin can feel his frustration rising more and more, “I'm not sharing that information. Geoff has my number, and I can give _you_ my number. Ray has it too if need be.”

Trevor sighs out, “fine,” but Geoff shakes his head and slams his tattooed hand on the desk.

“No,” he frowns heavily, “if something happens to you-”

“ _Nothing_ will happen because I can protect myself,” Gavin cuts in, digging his nails into his palms, “I'm not your weak little hacker anymore, Geoff, so you don't need to know where I'm staying.”

“Maybe we should continue this later,” Trevor says, and Gavin nods.

“Maybe we should.”

Geoff looks like he’s going to explode, beet red and steam practically escaping his ears. He storms out of the office and leaves the door half open. Gavin almost immediately droops, holding his head.

“I knew this would happen,” he mutters to himself. He sighs out before scooting his chair closer to the desk, “let’s just finish this before he comes back.”

Trevor nods uncertainly and slides over the folder.

There’s been a lot of change, but apparently the bad things stayed the same.

-

Gavin ends up in the living room after the meeting in the office, dragged in by Michael to sit with Ray and the bald newbie. It’s weird to see someone in what used to be his seat, but he just sits between Ray and Michael with a tiny hum.

“I didn't get to introduce myself before,” the bald man grins brightly, leaning over with a hand out, “I'm Jeremy, it's nice to meet you finally!”

Gavin laughs and raises his brows, shaking his hand back and nodding, “nice to meet you too, I'm Gavin,” Gavin looks briefly at Ray and smirks a little, “Ray’s mentioned you a couple times, didn't realise you’d be so…”

Michael laughs, “short?”

“Bald?”

“Yeah, basically,” Gavin laughs. But Jeremy seems a little shocked, blushing brightly.

“He mentioned me?”

Ray’s elbow is suddenly shoved into his side as the younger man takes control of the conversation, “no way, Vav’s just joshin’.”

Gavin smirks and sits back while Michael howls with laughter and Jeremy sits back.

 _I didn't know you had a type, X-Ray_ , Gavin murmurs in his ear. Ray elbows him again.

-

_[unknown]: what happened in that meeting? Geoff is pissed_

_[gav]: who is this?_

_[possible: Jack]: it’s Jack, i took your number from Geoff’s phone._

_[gav]: maybe you should ask him._

_[jp]: he won't say anything. Did you fight?_

_[gav]: the deal he offered me was pretty different to the actual one. He’s just mad that I kept arguing._

_[jp]: oh_

_[jp]: will you still be working with us?_

_[gav]: i don't know. Probably. I'm already here. Might as well._

_[jp]: ok. Well… i missed u hon_

_[gav]: missed you too, Jack._

\--

_“No.”_

_“But Geoff-”_

_“No, that’s fuckin’ final.” Geoff frowned, drinking the lukewarm whiskey on his desk, “I'm not sending you out as muscle.”_

_Gavin gritted his teeth and tugged at his hair, “I'm not a fucking child!” he groaned, “I've been working with Michael in hand to hand, and Ray taught me how to shoot proper, i can do it!”_

_“Shooting a piece of fuckin’ paper on a wall is pretty different to something that shoots back, Gavin!”_

_Gavin shook his head and leaned it in his hands, pressing his thumbs into his eyes, “Geoff,” it was nearly a whine, “I'm sick of what I do! I'm bored and I don't fucking enjoy it-”_

_“Then I’ll find different things for you to hack,” Geoff shouted, “or I’ll arrange harder deals and bargains, but you’re not doing turf wars or going on heists, and you can't change my fucking mind.”_

_It was silent, only their breathing audible in the room._

_“Geoff,” Gavin began, rubbing his face, “I'm not your son-”_

_He groaned, “for fuck’s sake, Gavin-”_

_“And I’m not a weak little girl, either.” Gavin looked up, frowning. Geoff was stunned, and Gavin was pleased in the worst way. “I'm not the kid you found anymore. I'm an adult and this is a choice I want to make.”_

_Geoff sighed, looking down at the desk before he finished his drink, slamming the glass on the table, “well,” he wipes at his mouth, eyes narrowed, “I'm your fuckin’ boss, so i make the shots. You’re sticking to hacking and bargaining.”_

_The second strike._

\--

Gavin’s first job is with The Vagabond. They’re going for a deal, something about territories or weapons for the heist they’re preparing for and it’s new enough that adrenaline is already pumping. Europe bargains differently, more family owned mafia than gang wars like the US. he’s sliding his gun into the holster on his waist when The Vagabond finally shows up.

He knows it's meant to be intimidating, but the mask honestly just makes him want to laugh. It looks like such a desperate attempt at badassery that he can't really take it seriously.

“Do you want to drive?” he asks instead, cheeks aching as he fights down laughter, “i'm not the best.”

The Vagabond simply nods, pulling some keys from his pocket and pressing the lock. A car at the end of the garage beeps in response, and Gavin turns to walk down there alongside the The Vagabond.

“How long have you been here?” Gavin asks. It’s nice to talk to someone new, someone with no expectations of him. The man holds up one finger, “a year?” he nods. Gavin hums and nods slowly. “Not long, then. You enjoying it?” The Vagabond just shrugs, getting into the car.

It’s a Zentorno, and Gavin is a little bit envious. He croons as he strokes the dash before sitting back, grinning, “she's beautiful. You race her?” The Vagabond shakes his head. “Yeah, didn't think so. That’s more Jack’s thing.”

The Vagabond drives out of the garage and threads into traffic neatly. It’s around midday and the sun shines brighter than Gavin’s used to. 

He misses his shades. 

An emotion comes over him that he can't really describe, so he sinks into silence. He left them here when he quit, now they don't feel like they belong to him.

Everything about the decision to come back feels like a mistake.

Before he can continue his line of thought, The Vagabond slams onto the brakes. Gavin grabs the handle on the roof and curses, frowning heavily, “fucking hell!” he looks up at the road and sees that a motorcyclist has cut them off, giving them the bird as he does so. Gavin grits his teeth and rolls his eyes, “should just run the cunt over,” he comments, folding his arms.

The thing is, he doesn't actually expect The Vagabond to do it.

The car revs slightly before speeding forwards and crashing into the man’s bike. The bike skids to the pavement while he slides over the top of the car and rolls to the ground. Gavin’s heart races and he laughs giddily, raising his brows and looking to The Vagabond. The masked man continues to drive as if nothing happened, eventually parking near the pier and climbing out.

Gavin can't restrain his smile, brows raised slightly in surprise. He checks his gun safety before following The Vagabond into the building, some abandoned building in the little amount of neutral ground Los Santos has. He manages to school his face into some form of professionalism before the gang leader and his goons can see, clearing his throat.

“Who the fuck are you?” the man frowns heavily, crossing his arms, “where’s Ramsey?”

Gavin shakes his head and hums, standing in front of The Vagabond and near the man, but far enough away that he can't be grabbed. “I'm taking over this deal,” he explains, “I was called in to handle things a bit speedier.”

The leader almost snarls, “i'm not working with you, whoever you are. The deal is off.”

Sighing, Gavin shrugs, “Well, when we take over your minuscule amount of territory and _steal_ the weapons instead of paying for them and letting you keep the little you have, I'm sure you’ll regret your choice.”

“Is that a threat?” the man asks, tone incredulous. His two guards raise their rifles, safeties clicking off. 

“No, love,” Gavin grins, teeth bared like a predator, “it’s a promise. So tell your men to lower their weapons.”

The leader crosses his arms, “why the fuck should i?”

Gavin draws his gun and shoots the man to the leader’s left in the throat, watching as blood splatters over the leader and the guard collapses. He points the gun at the second man before he can raise it. “That’s just a demonstration of what i can do. Tell him to drop the fucking gun.”

The first guard is choking on his own blood, seizing and writhing on the floor while the leader stays silent. Gavin sighs. “Vagabond, be a dear and finish him off.”

The Vagabond steps forward and stands on the man’s throat, shooting twice and silencing the man’s choking.

The leader gulps visibly. “Lower your gun.” the guard doesn't hesitate, turning on the safety and dropping it to the floor.

Gavin smiles, almost kind with how it makes his eyes crease, “thank you, love.” he puts his own gun away. “So, I assume the deal will be continuing?”

The leader nods tensely, gritting his teeth.

“Good,” Gavin nods along, humming. “Five grand for the guns, ten for the explosives, and another ten for the vests.”

A vein in the leader’s forehead pulses. “Ten grand for the guns.”

He laughs, raising a brow, “you must be a comedian on the side. Right, V? That was really funny,” Gavin grins, rubbing his face, “that made it seem like you have a choice.”

“Ten grand or no deal.”

He shakes his head, a small chuckle escaping, “nah, love. Five, or we just take them. I can up it to six if you say thank you, though, as a good deed for your cannon fodder.” Gavin gestures carelessly at the body on the floor.

Sweat beads on the man’s head. “Sir…” the living guard mutters, but the leader just shoots him a look.

“Six and a half.” he says, turning back to Gavin.

“You’re really pushing your fucking luck,” Gavin says, but he knows it’s the best he’ll be able to do. He holds out his hand, “deal. The fakes have enjoyed doing business with you.”

The leader takes it and shakes it twice before turning around and leaving.

Gavin waits for him to leave before groaning, sighing out and rubbing his face, “what a prick,” he says. His nose is cold from the ocean air.

The Vagabond might be staring at him, but Gavin can't tell. He almost goes to ask what the fuck he’s looking at but before he can, something weird happens.

“Good work,” The Vagabond comments. Like he’s _impressed_ . Gavin laughs and shrugs, trying to ignore how those two words make him feel. His voice is _deep_ and Gavin wants to hear it more.

“Thanks,” Gavin says, “sorry for, uh, bossing you around.” he normally wouldn't care, but for this job, the whole heist _and_ prep, The Vagabond is less of a bodyguard and more an equal teammate. He feels slightly bad for it.

The Vagabond just shrugs, back to silence. Gavin doesn't mind, though, just walks out to the car next to him. 

“You wanna get some lunch?” Gavin asks, “i’ll pay. Maccies just stopped serving breakfast but i know most of those weird secret menu orders if you want one.”

The Vagabond’s shoulders shake as if he’s laughing, and Gavin can't help but grin.

-

_[rn]: heard u were with skeletor 2day_

_[vav]: The Vagabond? Yeah_

_[vav]: who told you?_

_[rn]: talked 2 him earlier, he thinks ur cool 4 some reason_

_[vav]: i liked working with him, it was fun._

_[vav]: said i did a good job, so. Glad he liked it too._

_[rn]: gay!!!!!!!!_

_[vav]: go to sleep, xRay_

-

_[possible: Michael]: I got your number from Ray, it's Michael. I paid him fifty dollars._

_[boy]: you could have just asked_

_[mvj]: nah_

_[mvj]: just wanted to ask why Geoff is pissy_

_[boy]: not my place to say._

_[mvj]: oh_

_[mvj]: well_

_[mvj]: i missed u a lot. We should go for bevs. Catch up._

_[mvj]: Jeremy’s down too. He wants to get to know u_

_[mvj]: ?_

_[mvj]: Gavin??_

_[mvj]: night boy_

-

A week or two into preparation, they discover a mole.

Geoff isn't happy about it. It’s set them back a bit in their progress as plans are adjusted. Thankfully most of Gavin’s work goes untouched, but vehicle placements are switched around and teams are mixed so that no one, gang or cop, knows what the plan is.

Gavin is walking through the garage after working out in their gym when he first hears the screaming. He goes to the source, a large metal door, and heaves it open, sliding through the small gap and pushing it shut behind himself. 

The room is a small square, tiled with a drain in the middle like a wetroom. There’s a chair bolted to the tiles behind the drain, and someone’s currently tied down in it. The Vagabond is standing in front of them with a knife, but he turns around when Gavin enters.

“Please,” Gavin smiles, gesturing to the man in the chair, “don't let me interrupt. Just curious.”

The Vagabond stares for a moment, pitch black eye holes almost gazing into his soul, before turning back to the man.

“I-i'm sorry, it was a mistake,” the man begs, shaking his head, “don't hurt me anymore, i'm sorry!” he’s covered in slashes, from his neck to his waist, and his face is covered in bruises. His nose and mouth are dripping blood.

The Vagabond stands impassively, gripping a long knife in his hand. He tightens his grip, and the leather of his glove creaks threateningly in the silence - it sends the man into pleading whimpers.

“V,” Gavin calls out softly, grinning, “have you ever flayed someone? Gets them talking right quick.”

The man is practically squealing, tugging at the cuffs around his arms and legs and thrashing his head about as he begs wildly. The Vagabond tilts his head before shaking it slow, turning to face Gavin fully.

“Have you ever filleted a fish?” another shake of his head. “Mr Vagabond, do you do anything but murder?” another shake of his head, but this time his shoulders are shaking with silent laughter too.

Gavin turns and scans the roll of knives available. He takes the thinnest and smallest, walking over to the man and kneeling, pulling up his trouser leg. 

“P-please,” he sobs, “i'm begging, i've told you everything i know!”

“Oh hush,” Gavin tuts, “we’re busy. Stop whining.” The Vagabond kneels next to him, his presence warm and steady. Gavin hums as he touches along the man’s shin, “legs are easier, less likely to damage a nerve so they can't feel it.” he presses the tip of the knife in and makes three smooth slices, deep despite the lack of pressure. It makes a rectangle with one of the shorter sides missing, the gap close to the man’s foot.

“Pinch here,” Gavin presses his fingers against the top slide, “then spread,” he pulls it apart, “and start to slide the knife along the direction you’re going.” he slices the knife downwards, peeling the skin back. The man screams long and loud before passing out before Gavin even gets an inch. Some blood sprays out and Gavin laughs, wiping his face clean. “Hope you didn't need him for much else.”

Gavin stands up, wiping the knife on his joggers before sliding it carefully into the roll. He turns and grins at The Vagabond, who’s staring at him with those empty sockets again. Gavin can almost _taste_ the confusion in the air, The Vagabond’s arms crossed and his head tilted like a dog.

Eventually, he just shakes his head and sighs, but there’s something humorous in it (or, that’s how Gavin chooses to interpret it). Gavin laughs.

\--

_The third strike, in Gavin’s opinion, was the worst._

_A job had gone horribly, terribly wrong. Left Jack in the infirmary and Geoff kidnapped. They didn't have any other choice._

_Gavin was the first to find Geoff, three days later. The lads had split up around the city, scouting enemy warehouses and reporting back. Their leader was beaten and bruised and Gavin was glad he managed to find the man._

_He dropped through the vent in the room carefully, landing on his feet and drawing his knife to start cutting the too-tight ropes around Geoff’s hands._

_“Gavin?” Geoff whispered, but it sounded like a shout with how it echoed, “the fuck are you doing? Where are the others?”_

_Gavin put his knife away and helped Geoff stand, “been looking for you, i just happened to find you first.”_

_“Don't tell me you’re here alone.”_

_“I won't tell you that, then,” Gavin frowned, opening the door to the room and peeking out. He helped Geoff through until they found a well hidden part of the building that had little to no patrols. He checked over Geoff’s injuries, frowning heavily at the severity of some of them._

_“If you were anyone else,” Geoff winced and hissed, “I would fire you. You’re purposefully disobeying orders-”_

_“-Geoff-”_

_“And putting yourself in danger! What if you got caught? Who would get us both out?!”_

_Gavin slapped a hand over Geoff’s mouth as his volume began to grow, gritting his teeth and leaning in close as he talked, “if you stay quiet, Geoffrey, we won't_ get _caught. We can talk about this later.”_

_Geoff narrowed his eyes and nodded slowly. Gavin took his hand away and helped Geoff stand, leading him the way Gavin originally entered through - an open window in the back of the building. An uncomfortable amount of blood smeared against the wall once Geoff forced himself through, but Gavin ignored it in favour of helping the man up and dragging him to the car._

_He wasn't comfortable with driving, probably never would be, but it was a necessity at the time so he did what he had to. He drove slowly, kept his eyes on the road until they reached a safe distance from the warehouse and he could take out his burner phone. He left a voicemail with Michael and Ray informing them that Geoff was safe before tossing the burner into the road._

_“I told you no field work,” Geoff said, a hand on his abdomen, “I told you this, and you agreed.”_

_“I never fucking agreed,” Gavin shouted, gripping the wheel tight. He refused to look at Geoff, knowing the man’s state would prevent him from arguing much, “i left and the conversation ended, that doesn't mean i agreed.”_

_“Well it’s close enough, dickweed!”_

_Gavin frowned heavily, staring resolutely at the road._

_“You could get hurt, you could_ die _-”_

_Gavin laughed bitterly, “you did get hurt! You nearly did die! So did Jack! But instead you’re bollocking me because i managed to get you out of there without anyone noticing, real fucking rich, Geoff.”_

_“Thats different-”_

_“How?!” Gavin turned to look at Geoff, but surprisingly his emotions didn't change. Anger and disappointment and disbelief, “how is it any different?! How is it different to when the four of you go out and do what you do?!”_

_“Because…” Geoff seemed to struggle to find his answer. Gavin laughed and rolled his eyes, frowning at the man._

_“See? There isn't a difference! You just wanna fuckin’ control me!” he glared at Geoff, hands tight around the wheel, “i'm sick of it! I'm not a child, and even if i was i'm not fucking_ yours _and i don't belong to you, so you can take your stupid decisions-”_

_“-Gavin-”_

_“-and shove them up your-”_

_“Gavin watch the fucking road!”_

_Gavin snapped his gaze back to the road in front, slamming on the brakes and causing the car to screech to a halt. The cars in front and behind honked angrily, but Gavin could only pant slightly before turning back to Geoff, hands hovering awkwardly._

_“Are you okay?” he asked, voice weak._

_Geoff sighed out, frowning heavily, “I'm fine, Gavin.”_

_“Are you sure-”_

_“Gavin, I said I'm_ fine _.”_

_Gavin thinned his lips, closing his eyes before nodding tightly and turning back to the road. They drove back in complete silence._

\--

Gavin’s fiddling with the radio in The Vagabond’s car when it happens again.

“You left,” The Vagabond says, almost careful in how he says it despite his gruff tone. Gavin pauses and twists his mouth slightly before nodding, sitting back and leaving the radio on whatever channel it is - a man and a woman talking about movies, or some sort of weird game show.

“I did.”

The Vagabond turns his head to look at him before quickly looking back at the road. “They didn't talk about you much,” this is the most Gavin’s ever heard the man talk, so he lets The Vagabond continue despite his growing discomfort, “Geoff would ask Ray whenever he’d come back from Europe. Sometimes Michael would talk about his ‘boy’ when he got really drunk - too drunk.”

Gavin sighs, looking down at his knees. “If there’s a point to this, I pray you get there soon.”

“Just curious. Since it’s such a sore spot, you were all obviously close. Why’d you go?”

There’s no judgement in his voice, but that almost makes it harder - the simple acceptance of his past choices that have changed him irrevocably. Gavin doesn't respond, just climbs out of the car when it parks and checks his gun. His silence must be taken for an answer, because The Vagabond simply follows him over to the abandoned docks they’re meeting their drug dealer in.

The fakes need extra cash, so purchasing more drugs for their underlings to disperse in their territories - and others, if they’re brave enough - is a quick way to make some hard cash with minimal work.

There’s towering, rusted shipping containers along the edges of the area, some of the doors hanging on their hinges and creaking eerily in the ocean breeze. Gavin does his best to calm his beating heart, but a mix of the atmosphere and the previous conversation has left him strangely shaken. 

“You’re late,” the woman says, frowning. If Gavin was a different man under different circumstances, he would do his best to get her number. There’s a sharpness in her eyes and a dominance in her stance that intrigues him. “Not a good first impression.”

“Sorry, love, traffic was hellish. Lunch rush, y’know?” She hums, but Gavin quickly continues before she can say anything else; “but we’re here now, and i'm sure we both have better things to do.”

She raises her brows before nodding, gesturing forwards at the wooden crate between them, “there's a sample of the product in there, crates of that size are twenty-five hundred. We have ten put aside, and if you want more there’ll be an extra cost.”

As she talks, The Vagabond steps in front and pries the lid from the crate. Gavin switches place and listens, drawing a knife and picking up once of the many bricks of coke. He slides the blade along it and dips a finger in, holding it into the light. 

After too many years of mistakes, Gavin’s wary of testing the product himself. He wipes his hand on his jeans and places the crate back down. “Looks good,” he says, tilting his head and studying the contents of the crate. His shoulders hunch up slightly, though, when he notices something. The woman starts talking, rattling on about the cost and how many they wanna buy, and how bulk shipments cost less. He doesn't listen. 

The Vagabond must notice his body language change, because he can hear the sound of a gun being adjusted. The woman keeps talking.

Gavin begins lifting some of the bricks out, dumping them on the floor. Some of them split, and the woman scoffs, “hey, you’re paying for that.”

He sighs. Grips the sides of the crate and taps his fingers along the rough wood before looking back up at her, “half of this crate is full of Styrofoam,” nervousness flashes on her face, complexion fading and eyes going wide. Gavin shakes his head and sighs, “you think you can one up the Fakes with faux-shipments?”

“No,” she frowns and crosses her arms. “It’s… its for security, so the bags don't split.”

“Or so that you can sell less product for more gain.”

“No!” 

Gavin frowns, “so if i called Ramsey, he’d be aware of this?”

She must be desperate because between one moment and the next her gun is drawn. Gavin is shoved to the side and hits the ground as two shots go off.

His hands scrape on the ground and he can already tell from the pain in his left shoulder that he’s taken one of the bullets. The sound of a body hitting the ground tells him that the woman took the other.

Gavin gathers his bearings for a few moments before sitting up with a grunt, pressing his right palm against the wound. There’s no exit, but it doesn't seem to have hit bone or arteries. He sighs.

A gloved hand is pushed into his face.

He looks up, The Vagabond is holding out a hand to help him up, and Gavin can't help but laugh. He must be delirious already, but he doesn't say anything. Just takes the hand and accepts the help up.

“Thanks,” Gavin says, keeping his hand pressed against the wound. He looks impassively at the woman’s body, sighing out and shrugging with his good shoulder, “Geoff won't be happy.”

The Vagabond doesn't answer. They walk over to the car together and Gavin climbs in, pulling out his phone and dialling Geoff’s number. Gavin pinches the bridge of his nose when he doesn't answer. Voicemail it is.

“Job was a bust,” he explains quickly, “dealer pulled her gun. I'm fine,” he looks at The Vagabond, he nods, “The Vagabond’s fine too. I'm going back to my apartment.” he hangs up.

The Vagabond doesn't question it, but his hands tighten on the wheel slightly and his shoulders tense as if he wants to disagree.

Gavin gives the occasional direction as he drives, keeping pressure on his shoulder. It doesn't hurt much anymore, adrenaline more than helpful with that, but it’s still bleeding a lot. “Sorry about the seats.” 

The Vagabond shrugs.

Sighing, Gavin looks out at the scenery when the car comes to a stop. It’s probably a mistake, but he sighs and closes his eyes, “i've known Geoff for years,” he starts, “since i was sixteen, maybe seventeen. We’ve been through a lot together, we… we were family.” _were_ tastes like poison on his tongue, but it's true. How can Geoff see him as family if he left? “That meant that he was protective, though, kept me on hacking and basic level deals. I tried to convince him that I could do stuff, but he wouldn't let me do anything. Considered it _ignoring orders_ the one time I did and pulled the boss card. So i left.”

It's strange to vocalise it to someone after so many years, someone with a fresh perspective, and it makes him nervous. The Vagabond doesn't say anything. It’s a bastardisation of the events though, too many important details left out, so it feels enough like lying that he doesn't regret saying it.

“None of the others know why i left. I don't think Geoff fully understands, either. So… it would be nice if you didn't repeat that.” Gavin frowns into the foot-well.

The Vagabond nods in the corner of his eye, so he accepts it and sighs. Eventually they get close enough to his apartment as Gavin’s comfortable with, so he shifts in his seat and murmurs _stop here_. He climbs out quickly and salutes The Vagabond with a wry grin.

The walk to his apartment is hellish. He’s on the nice side of the city, if there is one, so he’s not worried about anything going wrong. The midday sun beats down on him and each step seems to vibrate _directly_ through to his shoulder. It leaves him miserable and crabby, and he’s barely able to handle smiling at the woman in reception without it being a dry, sarcastic thing.

He slams his apartment door when he gets there, shedding his blazer and tugging at the buttons of his shirt. He stops off in the kitchen to grab a bottle of whiskey before retreating into his bathroom. Jeans hit the tiled floor and he manages to dig through his medicine cabinet for an industrial first aid kit - something Jack taught him to make years ago, and _god_ does the memory feel bitter right now for some reason. Gavin slumps into the bath with the bottle between his legs and the kit to his right, and the cold of the bathtub and the glass bottle makes him want to shrivel up and die.

Disinfect the wound. Remove the bullet. He digs through the black bag and pulls out some thin metal tweezers.

Let’s get to work.

-

Gavin wakes up in the bathtub when his phone vibrates and nearly buzzes through his skull. He’s laid on his side, half empty bottle of whiskey thankfully sealed and cradled in his arms while blood soaked gauze and other used supplies are scattered around him. The phone buzzes again.

_[glr]: just got ur voicemail, we’ll talk abt it 2mrrw._

_[glr]: just spoke to V, told me u got shot??? Call me!!!_

_[glr]: Gav u dick answer me_

Gavin calls him with a frown, “ _what_ , Geoff?” his head is pulsing with the beginning of a hangover and his arm throbs down to his fingertips. There’s a weird taste in his mouth.

“Fucking hell, Gav,” Geoff sighs, “you scared the shit out of me.”

He pushes himself up and grunts. He checks his shoulder idly as he talks, the stitches look messy but they’ll do. “I told you i'm fine.”

“Getting shot isn't _fine_ , Gavin. Why didn't you come here?”

“I had it under control, and I still do,” Gavin closes his eyes and leans back. He’s too tired for this, too tired to fight Geoff about shit that doesn't matter. “You don't need to worry.”

“I know that i don't need to, but i'm always gonna worry.”

He must still be drunk because his eyes burn with tears. “Geoff…”

“It’s true, Gav.”

Gavin doesn't know how to answer and Geoff must not either because they sit in silence. Gavin listens to the other man’s breathing.

“I'm sorry,” he says after a while. It feels like losing. “For making you worry.”

“Don't be sorry, Gav.”

“Not just about this, Geoff,” they shouldn't be having this conversation now, when Gavin is half drunk and delirious with pain and Geoff is… Geoff. “About everything. I'm sorry for coming back and being like this, for not being what you want.”

“ _Gavin_ ,” he sounds pained almost, “don't say that. You’re still that stupid twink i know, you’re still family.”

“Am i? Really?” Gavin asks, brows raised. He wants to get out of the bath and crawl into bed with the rest of the bottle.

Geoff pauses, “of course you are,” he says eventually, sighing out. “You always will be. Even if things change, like…” he sighs, “like they obviously have. You’re always gonna have a place here.”

Gavin presses his forearm against his eyes, swallows slightly and grips the phone tighter. “I… i need to get some sleep.”

“Okay. don't worry about coming in tomorrow if you don't want to, just get some rest.”

“Thank you, Geoff.”

“Go sleep. Love ya’.”

His throat clenches and he has to hang up before he says something stupid. 

-

Despite his better judgement, he visits the penthouse the next day. 

They gave him back his old key, a dumb little thing with a union flag embellishment and a cat keyring that Lindsay gave him.

It hurt a lot to leave behind the little things.

Gavin closes and locks the door behind himself, kicking his shoes off before walking through the hall into the open plan area. His shoulder is stiff but the painkillers keep most of the pain away.

“Hey.”

Gavin looks over into the living room. Michael is sitting alone on the couch, feet up underneath himself and phone in hand. Gavin smiles slightly and shuffles over. The carpet is soft under his feet, nicer than the faux-wood lino in his apartment. “Hi,” he says. It feels weird to not be able to say anything more than that. 

Michael gestures for him to sit down, raising a brow. Gavin does so, bringing his knees up and hugging them with his good arm. 

They sit in silence for a while before Gavin clears his throat, pulling a face. “You, uh…” he huffs, “you don't wear your glasses anymore.”

“I got Lasik a year or two ago.” Michael explains, frowning slightly.

“Ah,” Gavin nods.

“But,” Michael tosses his phone onto the coffee table, the clatter makes Gavin want to curl up, “if it’ll make you have a fucking conversation with me, i’ll put them back on.”

“Michael…”

“ _Michael_ what? Michael, I'm sorry? Michael, i don't wanna be your friend?” he scoffs, shaking his head, “i don't know what to fucking do. When Ray called us and said you’re coming home, everyone was so fucking happy, even Jeremy and he doesn't fucking _know_ you!”

He stays silent.

“It’s been five fucking years and you’ve barely called, you never visited, what _happened?”_

Gavin shrugs weakly, he can barely look at Michael.

He scoffs again, standing up, “i don't know what i expected, really.”

Gavin panics. Michael is leaving and Gavin _panics_ so he snaps out his arm, ignoring the pain, and grabs Michael’s wrist. “Don't go,” he says, but he still can't look at the other man.

He can feel the mustering stare Michael gives him, but eventually he sits back down and Gavin breathes out a sigh of relief. He lets go of Michael’s arm, letting his knees down and staring at his feet for a while before rubbing his face. “I was scared, I still am. I came here thinking the job would be finished quickly and I could leave again. I… i came here, and i knew i had changed, but i didn't want you to see that.

So i've ignored you and Jack and i've been trying to keep it strictly business with Geoff so that i can try to keep our relationships how they used to be, i wanted those memories to not be _tainted_. I've kept my distance because I'm so bloody scared that you’ll see how much I've changed and decide that I'm too different, that I'm not the Gavin that you wanted to come back and you’ll all tell me to leave.”

A cold, pale hand wraps around his ankle. Gavin looks up. “Well,” Michael starts, and there’s tears in his eyes and Gavin can feel his heart clench, “you’re still a dumbass, so nothing’s really changed.”

Gavin laughs wetly and moves in to hug Michael tight when he opens his arms, gripping the back of his shirt and burying his face in his neck. Michael grips him just as tight.

“I'm sorry,” Gavin says, leaning back slightly, “i'm sorry for ignoring your texts, i'm sorry for being so cold and i'm sorry for everything.”

Michael lays back against the arm of the couch and pulls Gavin down with him. He feels twenty again, curled up on the couch in his best friend’s arms like they’re not wanted criminals, they’re just two men that love each other in their own ways. “Shut up, dickhead,” Michael laughs, and the vibration of his chest against Gavin’s head is familiar and comforting and upsetting at the same time. He’s missed this.

They hold each other. Gavin doesn't know how long, it could be minutes or hours or days, but he doesn't care because he’s with Michael again like before. 

“Why did you go?” Michael asks eventually. His finger is tracing slow circles on the back of Gavin’s neck, thumb pressed against his rapid pulse. Gavin closes his eyes and sighs out.

“I don't know. I was mad, I guess, and upset. And i just…” he shifts, shoulders aching, “i wasn't happy with what i was doing, but…”

Michael sighs and nods, “okay.”

Gavin nods. Okay.

“The Vagabond told Geoff you got hurt,” Michael starts, but Gavin laughs out and shakes his head before he can continue.

“Yeah, and i'm gonna kick his arse for that. I'm fine.”

Michael hums but he doesn't question it, pulling a throw blanket from the back of the couch down over the two of them, “whatever, i wanna take a nap.”

“I guess i'm stuck here, then?”

“Well, obviously,” _if that’s okay_ goes unsaid, “who else would i nap with at eleven in the morning?”

“Maybe your wife?”

Michael groans, “Lindsay’s got a stick up her ass cause i've been moody about us, so i've barely been able to sleep in our bed with her.”

“I didn't know our friendship was so pivotal when it came to you sleeping in the same bed as your wife.”

“Me neither, dude.”

\--

_Gavin stared at the door to Geoff’s office, picking at his nails. He couldn't back out, not after psyching himself up so much. He took a deep breath, held it, and knocked._

_“Come in!”_

_He opened the door and stepped in, closing it behind himself quietly. Most of Geoff’s bruises were healed or in the middle of fading, but it didn't make Gavin feel any better. It took a while for Geoff to eventually look up, but when he did he seemed relieved._

_It wasn't getting any easier._

_“Oh, good, i was just about to message you,” Geoff shuffled some folders before he searched through his drawers, “i have a job for you-”_

_“Um,” Gavin sat in one of the chairs in front of the desk, looking down at his feet, “that’s not what i'm here for.”_

_“Okay,” Geoff’s chair squeaked, “what’s up?”_

_“I…” Gavin’s hands were shaking. He dug his nails into the soft flesh on the heel of his palm._

_“Gav, buddy,” Gavin looked up when he heard Geoff lean forwards, the older man’s expression was one of deep concern, “what’s wrong?”_

_Just rip off the bandaid. Fast and hard._

_“I'm leaving.”_

_A strange amalgam of expressions shifted across Geoff’s face until he settled on despair. “What?”_

_Gavin sighed, he sat on his hands and stared resolutely past Geoff’’s head, “i'm leaving, the stuff i'm taking has been packed for a couple days. My flight is tomorrow."_

_“But… but you can cancel the flight, right?” Geoff frowned, “is it the pay? Is there anything I can change?”_

_“Geoff-”_

_“I'm serious,” Geoff continued, “I'll do anything, gav, there’s no need to go.”_

_“There isn't anything you can do,” Gavin’s resolve was breaking, why was it so hard? “I'm sorry, Geoff, but i need to go.”_

_“Why?”_

_Gavin squeezed his eyes shut and furrowed his brows. It hurt so bad. Rip off the bandaid._

_“I'm not happy here. I haven't been for a long time.” he said, '' I'm going to the UK to do my own thing, maybe some business with Dan.”_

_He didn't have to look up to know that Geoff was near tears. His sigh was shaky and the ice in his glass rattled when he picked it up. “Oh.”_

_“Yeah,” Gavin sighed, “sorry.”_

_“Don't be. It’s my fault,” Gavin opened his eyes in shock, looking at Geoff in confusion as the man sat back, '' I stifled you, or whatever. Jack always says i'm a control freak, but i guess it’s only catching up with me now.”_

_“Geoffrey-”_

_“Sorry,” Geoff laughed bitterly, “didn't mean to guilt ya.”_

_Gavin frowned before shrugging and standing up. “I'll keep in contact with you.”_

_“Okay,” Geoff sighed, putting the glass down, “you always have a place here, okay? No matter how long, whenever you need it. This is your home.”_

_Gavin forced down the emotion rising in his throat, nodding quickly before turning and leaving._

\--

Gavin’s working in his room when the door opens and light shines through.

As unhappy as he is about it, it’s getting easier and easier to call it his room again. He doesn't have any plans to move in, probably won't for a long time, but he’s comfortable with it being just a simple office for the hacking work he has to do. It’s strange to return to this line of work, especially when it's this complicated, but it feels like flexing an old muscle, riding a bike.

He looks over and raises his brows, “hey, v.”

The Vagabond leans against the doorway, crossing his arms and tilting his head. Gavin raises a brow before turning back to his monitor with a soft and drawn out _okay_. The mercenary steps in and shuts the door, turning on a light.

“Never been in here before,” he comments, “always seemed off limits.”

Gavin shrugs, scratching his jaw. His beard is already coming back with force, and the extra heat on his face is nearly unbearable, “well, wouldn't matter if you did. Just some old clothes in here.” plus some of his expired prescription, which was strange. He didn't remember rushing so much to pack and leave he forgot it.

“I'm surprised you’re not mad at me.”

Gavin sighs. He’s obviously not going to get any more work done so he spins in his chair to face The Vagabond fully, leaning back and raising a brow as he motions for the man to take a seat. “Why would I be?” he asks, folding his hands against his stomach.

“I dunno,” The Vagabond is getting more and more talkative, which has been an interesting development. He wants to ask Ray about it, but he knows he’ll just be teased and it isn't really worth it. “I told Geoff that you lied about being fine. Figured that might piss you off.”

“Oh,” Gavin laughs slightly, tilting his head back and staring at the popcorn ceiling, “that. Well,” he shrugs again, “no harm done, really. Was a little bit miffed,”

“Miffed.” he parrots. Gavin can hear the smirk in his voice.

“Yeah,” Gavin looks at him, “miffed. But i didn't mind after a while. He’s your boss, not mine. You have an obligation to tell him the truth about jobs when you debrief, but i don't.”

“I didn't think about it like that,” The Vagabond says, leaning forwards, “makes me feel better.”

“You felt bad about it in the first place?”

The Vagabond shrugs, “a little.”

Gavin raises a brow before sighing out. “Well it doesn't hurt anymore, and Geoff wasn't that mad, so i don't care.”

He shrugs again. Gavin nearly turns back to his monitor, but The Vagabond talks again. “Have you eaten yet?”

He laughs, rocking his chair back and forth, “careful, Vagabond,” he chastises, “you almost sound like you care.” he checks the time on his phone anyway, it’s nearly seven pm and he last ate at breakfast. Old habits die hard. “No, i haven't eaten. Why?”

“Let’s get dinner, my treat.” The Vagabond stands, shoving his hands into his pockets.

Gavin turns to his monitor, starting to save and shut everything down, “if you insist, but i don't wanna have to watch you puree all your food to drink through the mask,” there’s a light thud behind him, “i've a real hankering for sushi.”

“Sounds good.”

He stands and grabs his phone and wallet, “great, i dunno if it’s still around, but…” he turns around and trails off, brows raising slowly.

The Vagabond’s mask is on the bed. _The Vagabond’s mask is on the bed_.

“But?” The Vagabond grins, he _grins_ , and Gavin chuckles slightly.

“But, uh,” Gavin clears his throat and opens his bedroom door, “there’s this restaurant near the beach, one of those places where they cook it in front of you, it’s top.”

“Top.” he parrots again. Gavin groans.

“Are you going to do that every time i say something British?”

“Yes,” The Vagabond smirks, “definitely. One hundred percent.”

Gavin sighs, opening the front door to the penthouse, “Lovely.”

-

“So,” Ray climbs into the car Gavin’s sat in through the window, thudding down into the passenger seat, “this is where you’ve been all day?” It's nearly two am and Gavin’s eyes are aching slightly with exhaustion.

He frowns and raises a brow, “kinda busy here, X-Ray,” he says, putting out his cigarette on the door of the car, “what do you want?”

He’s on a stakeout, watching the house of someone who might be a possible weak link in the LSPD, someone they can take advantage of and use for their benefit during the heist. After, too, if he does his job well. Gavin has a notepad in his lap and a pen in his hand, writing down little things or doodling when the boredom rises.

“Nothing,” Ray puts his feet up on the dash, “just wanted to spend time with ya, Vav.”

He hums and slots the pen through the rings of his notepad, “i really believe you.”

“Good,” he says, smiling, “does that mean you’ll tell me about your date?”

“I haven't been on a date, Ray,” Gavin looks at him and frowns.

Ray scoffs, smirking and opening the glove box. He takes out the pack of cigarettes Gavin was smoking, taking one and offering another to Gavin. He takes it, and offers a lighter in return. “Sources tell me otherwise, Vav,” Ray lights the cigarette and clears his throat, taking a long drag, “you went out with The Vagabond.”

Gavin nearly drops the cigarette, sputtering, “it wasn't a date, it was just dinner!”

“Sure, dude,” Ray reaches over and lights the cigarette for him, “I believe you, dude. Did he kiss you on your doorstep?”

“It wasn't a date, Ray,” Gavin runs a hand through his hair, frowning heavily, “but if you’re so invested, how’s Jeremy? Didn't realise you talked about him so much cause you were sleeping together.”

Ray laughs as if it’s a joke, but Gavin knows he’s not completely unaffected when a bright flush spreads across his face, “dude, that’s different.”

“Is it?” Gavin asks, taking a drag, “really?”

Ray doesn't answer, staring resolutely out the windscreen at the house Gavin’s meant to be watching. He frowns and looks away from the other man, writing down the current time when a light on the ground floor turns on.

“If you’re comparing The Vagabond to Jeremy,” Ray starts, and Gavin suddenly feels like he made a mistake by bringing it up, “that must mean that they’re similar, maybe you’re already sleeping together.”

Gavin sighs and takes a drag, “if you _must_ know, we’re not sleeping together. It was getting late,” he coughs a little, wincing at the burn, “and we were having a conversation about something else. He offered to buy me some dinner since I hadn't eaten for a while, and I accepted. Is that a crime? Does it mean that I have to sleep with him?”

“Does sleeping with Jeremy make me interested in him?” Ray counters, raising a brow and pushing his glasses up with the back of his hand.

“Well,” Gavin shrugs. His shoulder is still tight but it’s healing well. “In your case, yeah. I see how you look at him, how he looks at you.” embarrassment passes over Ray’s face and Gavin feels oddly triumphant.

The lights in the house turn off, Gavin writes down the time.

“He’s interested in you,” Ray starts again and Gavin can feel something like frustration rise through him.

“Ray,” Gavin says, frowning heavily and closing his eyes tight as he talks, “i'm trying to stop this conversation, and you keep bringing it up. I'm not interested, and even if i was i wouldn't be able to go through with it, so stop bloody asking.” It feels strangely like a lie to say that, but Gavin doesn't know which part or why.

“Why wouldn't you?”

Gavin sighs tiredly, “Ray…”

“Give me one good reason, then i’ll drop it. I promise.”

Sitting back in the seat, Gavin brings one of his legs up onto the seat. The cherry of his cigarette is burning his fingers so he flicks it out the open window. “He doesn't know about-”

“He’s not the type to care,” Ray interrupts, frowning heavily, “so don't worry about that. He’s a good guy.” Gavin narrows his eyes at Ray before pressing his mouth into his jeans. He can feel Ray’s eyes burning holes into his head. “There’s something else, isn't there?” Ray asks carefully.

“I…” Gavin sighs and rubs his face with both hands and a quiet _fucking hell_ , “i don't think i'm gonna stay here after the job.”

The silence in the car is deafening. It's something he hasn't said to anyone yet, something he knows probably shouldn't be said. In some way, Gavin wishes he hadn't come here so that he didn't have to tell anyone at all.

“So,” Ray flicks the butt of his cigarette out of his window, “you’re just gonna come here and fix everything, only to ruin it all again when you leave? What was the point in agreeing to the job?”

“I didn't come here to fix jack shit, Ray,” Gavin turns his head to look at him, it hurts how disappointed and mad Ray looks because they’re _friends_ , they’ve remained friends this whole time and coming here has fucked it up, “i came here to do a job that i was hired for, at _most_ as a favour to Geoff.”

“Bullshit,” Ray snaps, “you didn't have to take the fuckin’ job, and Geoff didn't ask you because there _isn't anyone else_ . He could have hired anyone, but he went out of his way to lie to you, as shitty as that was, just to get you to come here, to come _home_.”

Gavin shakes his head and leans his head in his hands, “Ray, i don't know if i _can_ stay even if i want to.”

“Stop saying shit like that, like you don't have any other choice and you’re doing things for the fucking best,” Ray grabs his arm, then his hand. “If you want to stay, then _stay_ , but don't come up with some shitty reason to go just because you’re scared of nothing!”

“I’m not scared of _nothing_ , I'm not scared of _anything_ , Ray!” Gavin shouts but he doesn't pull his hand away, “i’ve got a business in Europe, Ray! I'm running my own gang in London, I've got branches in Spain and France and Italy and I can't just give that up!”

“Dan could take over,” Ray reasons, “or you could find someone else. I've seen you there, I've been there hundreds of times and you’ve never looked _happy_. You’ve either been fucked up on drugs-”

“That was a temporary setback-”

“Or you’ve been fucked up by another crew, or by betrayals, or jobs gone wrong. You were either hurt or miserable every time I saw you.”

“How is that any different to you? To _anyone_ in the crew?” Gavin asks, “how many times have you been kidnapped and tortured for the Fakes? How many times have you been hurt during a job? I don't know if you’re forgetting this, but i was shot two weeks ago and i still handled it by myself.”

“Yeah, you did, because you wouldn't _let_ anyone else help you. It’s different because we’re _family_. We love each other and we take care of each other when we’re hurt. Every time I've been hurt I've known that they had my back. Could you say the same about Dan? About anyone else that works for you?” 

Gavin frowns heavily and looks away. It’s starting to rain.

“You need to stop saying that, by the way,” Ray says, taking off one of Gavin’s rings and playing with it with a frown and a sigh, “ _the fakes_. You say it like you’re not one of us.”

He looks at Ray for a while, probably too long if he was anyone else, before turning and facing forwards again. He pushes the key into the ignition and sighs, “I think we’re done here. I’ll drive you… i'll drive you back to the penthouse.” _home_ , he nearly says.

“Thanks.”

Gavin looks at the house we was meant to be watching one more time before pulling out of the spot carefully and driving away. The rain starts to come down harder so he closes the windows, sighing tiredly.

“Don't…” Gavin pulls a face, mouth twisting, “don't tell anyone what i said, okay?”

Ray sighs, “‘course, dude. I'm not an asshole.”

“That’s debatable.” Gavin smiles a little when Ray laughs.

-

_[vav]: you know. For the record._

_[rn]: a completely confidential and anonymous record_

_[vav]: of course_

_[vav]: i might be interested_

_[rn]: in..?_

_[vav]: you know._

_[rn]: thats gay_

_[rn]: your secret is safe with me [cowboy] [cowboy] [black heart] [blue heart] [white heart]_

_[vav]: and the other thing. A little bit_

_[vav]: don't tell anyone_

-

“Hey,” Jack knocks on the door to his room, poking her head in, “can i come in?”

Gavin looks up from his computer. He’d be annoyed, he’s been trying to focus on his work but he’s been struggling for a while and _just_ got into the groove, but he could never be annoyed with Jack.

“Of course, no need to ask.” he spins in his chair and faces her. She smiles, somewhat nervously, and sits down on the end of the bed with her hands clasped together tightly. “Jack,” he scoots the chair forwards and slouches slightly, “what’s up?”

She shrugs, rubbing the back of her neck, “i wanted to talk, but i kinda forgot what i was gonna say.”

“Oh,” Gavin tilts his head, he doesn't really know what to say. It’s awkward for a while, and it makes him nauseous - Jack used to be the easiest to be around, to just sit quietly and exist. Why is it so hard now?

“I missed you,” she says, frowning and looking at the dull carpet, “i guess that’s what i wanna say. I missed you a shit ton, and I'm really glad you’re home.”

Gavin frowns softly, hesitating before moving to sit next to her on the bed. The mattress sinks under their combined weight and their thighs press together. He hesitates slightly before pulling her into a hug, “i missed you too, Jackie.”

It seems like all she needed was permission, because suddenly she’s clinging tightly and pressing her face into his neck. “I love you a lot,” she squeezes him tighter, “i'm really glad you’re home.”

“Me too, Jack,” he presses his face into her hair, and it’s strange how she still smells the same. Maybe not everything’s changed.

“Geoff said you got hurt,” she starts, pulling away and blinking quickly as if ridding herself of tears, “and, well, i know you’re a big kid now and you can take care of yourself, but you know how i am.”

Gavin raises a brow and smiles gently, “I do. Let me get the light.” he goes to stand, but she’s already on her feet.

“No, it’s okay,” she stands quickly and walks over to the switch. Gavin raises a brow before standing and unbuttoning his shirt. He shrugs the shirt off and drops it on the bed, and when he looks up again Jack is frowning softly, “Christ, Gavin.” she stares at the scars scattered around his front, almost tracing them with her eyes.

He thins his lips and looks away, shrugging, “s’been five years. Shit happens.”

“I guess so,” she says, sitting in the chair. “I wish i had been there to help.”

Gavin shrugs and sits down on the edge so she can get a good look. The wound is bruised and sore but the stitches have held nicely. Jack’s hands are warm and gentle when they grip his shoulder and tilt his body slightly. She touches the edges of the bruising and hums. “No exit,” she comments. 

“Don't worry,” he smirks at her, “it’s currently in my sharps box, i’ve learned from previous mistakes.”

She doesn't seem to find the humour in it, her face falling slightly before she schools it into careful neutrality. Gavin feels bad about it so he reaches out and settles a hand on her knee. “Jackie,” he says, sighing softly, “i'm fine.”

Jack takes her hands away and sits back in the chair, spinning it side to side idly. “I wish you had stayed,” she admits, tucking her chin down against her chest, “if only so that you wouldn't have been hurt.”

Gavin sighs out, “sometimes i wish i’d stayed too, but…” he shrugs, “it was for the best.”

“Was it?” she asks, but there’s nothing accusatory or spiteful in the way she asks it, just genuine curiosity, “do you think you benefited when you left?”

The amount of time it takes Gavin to answer tells him the answer, but he just grabs his shirt from behind him and starts tugging it on, “in some ways, yes.”

“And in others?”

He laughs gently, “well, some of my experiences I could take or leave, really.”

She nods gently and sighs. He buttons his shirt up slowly, looking down as he does so. Suddenly a hand presses against his cheek, gentle and warm, and tilts his head back up. Jack is leaning in close, frowning softly as her thumb strokes along his cheekbone, “if there’s anything you wanna talk about, honey, i'm here. I know things have changed a little, but i'm always gonna be around for you;” she pauses, closing her eyes and sighing tiredly, “whether you stay or go.”

He squeezes his eyes shut when they start to burn, leaning into her hand before tugging her into a tight hug with his arms around her neck. “I love you,” he says, pressing their cheeks together, “I really missed you.”

Jack holds him just as tight, rubbing his back, “love you too, gav.”

\--

_His hands were too hot. They felt sticky. Every time he blinked he could see blood staining them. He scrubbed harder._

_“B,” Dan knocked at the door carefully, “you’ve got a visitor.”_

_“Tell them to come back later.” he scrubbed harder, nails digging into his palms. When his gaze flickered and shifted he could see the bruises and friction marks marring his bony wrists, so he focused stubbornly on the water and the irritated redness of his hands._

_There was talking on the other side of the door but Gavin couldn't hear it, much too hushed. He stopped scrubbing and twisted the faucet, hands shaking as he dried them. If he looked past his hands he could see bandaged legs and bruised feet._

_“Um,” Dan hesitated, “he won't leave.”_

_“Vav?”_

_God, why was Ray here? Had someone told Geoff? Was he being dragged back to the US? It had only been around nine months, he must have seemed incompetent to have fucked up like this already._

_Gavin opened the door a crack and peeked through it. Ray stood there with a carefully controlled expression, Dan behind him with a worried frown._

_“Why are you here, Ray?” Gavin asked. Ray shrugged, thinning his lips as he carefully chose his words._

_“I was in the area.”_

_Gavin frowned and furrowed his brows, “the area being..?”_

_“Europe.” Ray shrugged, “got a connecting flight through london, i'm here for a couple days, so…”_

_Looking up to gauge Dan's reaction only to see the man shrug, Gavin sighed softly. “Okay, well,” he ran a hand through his hair and winced when it tugged painfully, “make yourself at home.”_

_“Can I come in there? Dan told me what happened.”_

_At the mention of his name, dan hummed before stepping away, “i'm gonna go handle some stuff…” he jerked his thumb over his shoulder before retreating quickly down the hall._

_Gavin scanned Ray before shifting and leaning against the wall, “my bedroom door is already open, i’ll meet you in there.”_

_“Nah,” Ray pushed the bathroom door open and walked in, Gavin didn't really put up much of a fight, “i’ll hang out in here, give you a hand.”_

_He wanted to decline, sigh and grumble and force Ray out, but it was honestly nice to see a familiar face that wasn't dan. He returned to the sink, his back to Ray._

_“Christ, dude,” Ray hissed, Gavin restrained a flinch when an unexpected hand settled on his waist, “the fuck did they do to you?”_

_Gavin turned around with the minuscule first aid kit he has - he hasn't had the time to make a bigger one yet. “Can you suture the biggest ones?”_

_Ray simply nodded. Gavin looked around the tiny bathroom for a moment before climbing into the bath, leaving room for Ray to sit on the lip of it._

_The stitches hurt. Of course they did, they’re stitches. The pain grounded him, though, as did Ray’s comforting hand on his shoulder, thumb pressed against his neck._

_“Does Geoff know?” Gavin asked after a while, arms wrapped around his legs and knees against his chest. Ray sighed._

_“No,” he said, making another suture, “I wasn't lying. I really am waiting for a connecting flight. I heard that you got nabbed through the grapevine and wanted to come check that you were okay.”_

_Gavin nods slowly, closing his eyes, “please don't tell him.”_

_“I won't, dude.”_

_Rays hands pressed against his back, presumably taping down bandages and gauze to protect the wounds while they healed. Gavin remained where he was sat while Ray gathered the reusable supplies and threw the waste into the trash._

_“C’mon,” Ray took his hands gently, “nap time, dude.”_

_Gavin smirked weakly and nodded, standing up carefully and climbing out of the tub. He led the way to the ajar door down the hall, pushing it open, “here we are.”_

_The room was pretty much bare, just a bed and some basic computer supplies. He had left the majority of his tech back in Los Santos, only bringing the irreplaceable things like hard drives and things he had built from scratch._

_Ray didn't hesitate to kick off his shoes and drop his pants, an odd warmth blooming in Gavin’s chest. It had been a while since he had shared a bed with someone, friends or not, and he knew he would probably need the comfort tonight._

_Gavin pulled the covers back and sat carefully on the edge of the bed, closing his eyes and breathing a deep breath. He sighed out before bringing his legs up and pulling the covers over himself. Ray was quick to follow, wearing just his boxers and his large t-shirt._

_They laid facing each other for a while, warmth gathering under the covers. The proximity was enough to make Gavin shudder slightly, their legs brushing occasionally._

_“How…” Gavin brought the covers higher, shifting a little closer, “how are things?”_

_Ray’s breath fanned over Gavin’s face and neck when he sighed out, mouth twisting, “Geoff is working a lot, Jack too. I think they’re distracting themselves.” Gavin frowned and averted his eyes from Ray’s face, staring at the white pillowcases. “Michael is really angry. He goes hard on pre-heist drinks, too. harder than before, anyway. I think he’s just sad.”_

_Gavin nodded, “any word of new members?”_

_“Lindsay’s moved up, and we’ve got word of a new brawler from boston. No one’s gonna replace you, though.” his tone was joking, but Gavin knew he was trying to be serious with it, “no one’s as good a nerd as you, gav.”_

_He smiled weakly, tapping his toes against Ray’s shin, “‘course, x-Ray.”_

\--

_[rn]: v asked me for ur number_

_[vav]: don't give it to him_

_[rn]: too late_

_[vav]: RAY_

-

_[unknown]: messaging to say Geoff moved me to a different job, Michael will be with you tomorrow_

_[Gavin]: shame. When do you think you’ll be done? I owe you dinner._

_[v]: you don't owe me anything_

_[v]: but i'll probably be done around 8pm_

_[Gavin]: [thumbs up]_

-

Gavin is sat on the bed in his office with a bag of takeout at his feet when the door opens and The Vagabond walks in, kicking off his shoes almost immediately, “i'm starving,” the man says, closing the door and dropping his mask on the desk, “what’s the grub?”

“Chinese,” Gavin says, sitting up slightly against the headboard as he chucks a pillow to the end of the bed, “i didn't know what you liked so i got a bit of everything.”

“Sounds great,” The Vagabond drops his Jacket down too and Gavin raises his brows at the short sleeved shirt he’s wearing, “I love everything. Food is great.”

Gavin nods and opens the bag up, “rice? Chicken?”

The Vagabond hums and peeks into the bag before shrugging and sitting on the end of the bed, legs crossed like a kid, “surprise me.” Gavin covers his own eyes and touches the lids of the hot boxes before pulling a random one out, handing it over. He does the same for himself, grinning at the meaty rice contents. 

“How was the job?” he asks, shovelling food into his mouth. He hasn't eaten all day, having gotten up late and worked with Michael and Jeremy through lunch. 

“Gruelling,” The Vagabond huffs, opening his own takeout, “oh, i love duck. It was tiring, kinda shitty. One of those jobs where it sucks but someone’s gotta do it.” he eats a couple mouthfuls, furrowing his brows, “this is great.”

Gavin nods with a grin, “s’this place a couple blocks away, used to order from there all the time.” he looks down into his box of rice, “sometimes when i wasn't able to do something for someone’s birthday i’d order someone’s usual and send it over.”

“That’s sweet,” The Vagabond comments, but Gavin shrugs and leans back more.

“Seems kinda bare-bones, now that i think about it,” he says, moving his food around with his fork, “wish i’d done more, to be honest.”

They eat in silence until The Vagabond says, “how did your job go?”

“Same here, to be honest. Stealing IDs and uniforms, bribing people, threatening and blackmailing others. A bunch of toss, really. It’s for the best that Geoff switched you.”

“Nah,” The Vagabond looks up and smiles, it’s small and sweet and Gavin hates the way his heart skips at the expression, “i'm sure you would have made it fun.”

Gavin laughs nervously, stuffing his mouth and chewing so he doesn't say something completely stupid. “I think Geoff is getting minged off with us killing people when we’re on jobs together.” he says, flicking his eyes up at the older man before staring into his food again.

“They deserved it.”

He says it in such a definite, certain way that Gavin doesn't really know how to argue with him. He pauses, fork in the air, before shrugging one shoulder and nodding gently, “guess so.”

The Vagabond finishes his food and sets the box to the side, searching through the bag, “need something wet,” he mutters, and Gavin squawks before laughing out.

“Ugh,” he groans, covering his mouth with the back of his hand, “that’s rank, something _wet?!”_

“Well, yeah!” The Vagabond grows flustered, brows furrowing slightly, “to counteract the meat!”

Gavin laughs more, putting his rice down so that he doesn't drop it. He presses his forehead into his knees and tries to calm himself down, giggling occasionally, “there's,” he sniffs and laughs a little, “there’s some sweet and sour in there, chicken balls too.” Gavin manages to stop laughing, but his grin doesn't dissipate as he picks his box back up, finishing the rice quickly.

“You have a nice laugh,” Gavin looks up in surprise but The Vagabond isn't looking at him, oddly focused on pouring the sauce into the plain rice and chicken balls he took from the bag. Gavin’s face is warm, and when The Vagabond looks up he looks embarrassed, “that… sorry. That was weird.”

“No, that’s sweet, don't apologise,” Gavin smiles, small and genuine, “thank you.” he hugs his thighs and balances his chin between his knees, “how did you meet the fakes?”

The Vagabond eats a few mouthfuls and hums, running his thumb along the cleft in his chin as he thinks, “i dunno, i guess i met Jack through some races but we never really _met_... “ he stirs his food idly, “maybe… I think I was offered a contract by Geoff the same day he wanted to meet me and hash out a deal. I was gonna kill him if the deal he offered wasn't good enough.”

Gavin raises a brow, “is he aware of that?”

The Vagabond chuckles and nods, “oh yeah. Sent him the dude’s hand and a letter of acceptance.”

“Can't imagine he was chuffed about that.”

“The hand?” The Vagabond smirks, “definitely not, but he liked the letter. I think he still has it somewhere.”

Gavin grins before taking out a box of prawn toast from the bag, opening it and setting it between their feet. He takes one and nibbles at it lazily, mostly full but wanting to chew. “You just do mercenary stuff, right?”

The Vagabond hums, “mostly, yeah. Sometimes i’ll do tech stuff, but only when we’re desperate.”

“Tech?”

“I worked alone,” he explains, “had to become good at most things so I didn't become dependent on anyone, but it was only the bare minimum. Tracking, basic hacking, cameras, et cetera.”

Gavin nods, “I'd like to see you work sometime, hacking is all I used to do for the fakes.”

The Vagabond rubs the back of his head, “i’m really not that good, but if you insist.”

“top, it’s a date.” Gavin blushes bright and widens his eyes when he realises his mistake, sitting up slightly, “not a _date_ date, but, y’know-”

“Gav,” he smiles, “it’s okay.”

Gavin nods slightly and decides to just put another piece of prawn toast into his mouth, huffing.

“So…” The Vagabond takes one of the pieces too, “what did you do in the UK?”

Normally Gavin would close up and end the conversation, turn away and ignore the topic because that’s _complicated_ . But, usually, it’s one of the fakes asking. Someone who has expectations and preconceptions of what he should be doing, or what he should be _able_ to do, and would probably protest to the things he chose to do and learn to survive.

But, this is The Vagabond.

“Well,” he starts, frowning slightly, “i started off doing what i did here. Hacking and trading secrets. Learned to fight and shoot on the side until I could go out into the field more. I would expose things and make the gangs in London fight each other, wait for one to crumble and take its place with whoever was left over. I guess…” Gavin blushes slightly, “i guess i was kinda like you, if i can say that. A Jack of all trades.”

The Vagabond nods, “from what I've seen, I agree.”

Gavin smiles at the easy acceptance, tilting his head and pressing his socked foot against The Vagabond’s shin, “you’re a pretty cool gent, V.”

The Vagabond smiles back. “You too, gav.”

-

Gavin walks down into the garage with two black devices in hand and a satchel over his shoulder. They’re replacement trackers for two union depository trucks that The Vagabond, Jeremy and Jack had stolen earlier in the week.

“These should do the trick,” Gavin says, walking in.

Jack pokes her head up from where she’s working on the engine, “great! We’re just making room for them now! I think Jeremy’s is nearly done.”

Gavin walks over to the shorter man, smiling kindly, “let's get to work then, yeah?” Jeremy nods wordlessly, mouth thinned. Gavin raises a brow before taking off his bag and placing one of the devices on the floor next to it, taking a box of small tools from the satchel. Jeremy goes to walk away, but Gavin stops him with a gentle hand on his shoulder, “where you headed, jer?”

He turns back around and hums, “i was gonna help Jack, i dunno what the fuck you’re doing with that, so…”

Gavin shrugs, “then i’ll teach you. A nice bonding moment, yeah?” Jeremy seems apprehensive, but he nods anyway so Gavin gives him a kind smile and rolls his own sleeves up.

He studies the engine with a sigh, tilting his head, “haven't seen one of these for a while.” he pokes at some of the wires before passing the device to Jeremy, “hybrid?”

Jeremy nods, “they upgraded them last year.”

Gavin finds the two wires he needs and pulls them up, “hold these for me,” his oil stained fingers slide against Jeremy’s when he passes the wires over and the wire cutters nearly slide out of his hands, but he manages to strip them and wrap the metal around one of the notches on the device. “So,” Gavin starts, raising his brows and taking out his laptop from his bag, “you and Ray, huh?”

Jeremy flushes in the corner of his eye and nearly drops the wire cutters while he’s stripping them, “um… Ray said to not tell you anything because you’re a jerk sometimes, his words.”

“Damn,” Gavin laughs, grinning at him, “he took my chance at meddling in his love life.”

Jeremy laughs too, albeit nervously. He wraps the wire on the second notch and holds the device up, “did he really talk about me?”

Gavin shrugs gently, “yeah, sometimes. He would mention you when i’d ask ‘bout new people, or when i asked who he was hanging out with,” he connects some wires from the laptop to the device, turning it on, “he wouldn't always say it outright, but reading between the lines is what i'm good at. He likes you, or, he at least likes spending time with you. Take that as you will.”

Jeremy nods and watches the laptop screen with a soft frown. “I like him,” Jeremy admits, “but he’s very…”

“Blank? Dull?” Gavin hums and chuckles gently when Jeremy nods, “it’s a rouse, love, if he hated you he’d be insufferable.”

“Oh,” Jeremy raises his brows, “okay. Well…”

Gavin looks away from the laptop, “from one dude to another? Take the shot. If he says no, it’s his loss. You’re a great guy.” he types at the keyboard on his laptop.

“You don't even know me.”

“I'm a good judge of character, love, trust me. You’re one of the more tolerable crew members.”

Jack laughs from behind them, “I'm telling Geoff you said that.”

Gavin laughs but doesn't reply. He works on the laptop for a couple minutes before turning to Jeremy, grinning gently, “he’s on a stakeout downtown in one of his shitbrown cars if you wanna talk to him, i'm almost done here.”

“Thanks,” Jeremy smiles before balancing the device on the engine of the truck and grabbing his Jacket, jogging over to the elevator.

“That was nice of you,” Jack comments once the doors close, “you didn't have to do that.”

Gavin shrugs even though she can't see it, “just wanted to speed that little journey along. It’s cute.”

He finishes on the laptop and turns off the device, tucking it into the usual slot for the depository trackers. He gathers his things and walks over to Jack, settling a hand on her lower back and casually not mentioning the grease smear he leaves behind, “nearly done?”

She nods, “yeah, just cleaning some of it up.”

“I can do that,” he smiles, and it feels strangely like before, trading off on tech and electric vehicles and taking care of each other, “go get something to eat, i think Geoff is making a big lunch for everyone.”

She nods and wipes her forehead, smiling down at him before pressing a kiss against his forehead, “thanks, hon. I’ll make sure something is put aside for ya.”

He smiles as he watches her go, sighing out before putting his things down and getting to work.

-

“Knock knock,” Geoff says in lieu of knocking. Gavin looks up from where he’s still perched on the floor before checking his phone, it’s nearly nine at night but there’s no missed messages from the other man, “can i come in?”

Gavin frowns slightly, “it’s your garage, Geoff.”

“I know, but…” he shrugs, walking in slowly. There’s a plate of food in both of his hands, “thought i’d bring you something to eat. Haven't seen you since you came down here.”

Gavin brings one of his legs up and leans his chin on his knee, looking back down at the device in front of him, “busy.” he replies, playing with one of the smaller screwdrivers. Geoff’s shoes enter the edge of his vision and he fights the urge to look up at him.

“You still like roast?”

Sighing and closing his eyes, Gavin drops the screwdriver and presses the heel of his palm against his head, “Geoff, what are you trying to do here?”

The plates are set on the floor with a small _clink_ and Geoff’s shoes squeak a little as Gavin assumes he sits down, “get a good meal in ya, for starters,” Gavin opens his eyes and sees the honest look on Geoff’s face, “i swear. Just wanted to make sure you had something to eat. We waited a while for ya but Jeremy said you were working on the trackers still, so i knew it would be a while.”

Gavin narrows his eyes slightly, studying the other man, before looking down at the plate. He hesitates slightly, understanding that this is more than just a meal. Despite this, he picks up the fork and eats.

They’re silent while they eat, Gavin occasionally putting the fork down to work on the device until Geoff nudges him with his foot, “hey, take a break. Just eat for a while.”

Gavin looks up at Geoff and sighs gently, “Geoff-”

“I know, i know,” Geoff holds up his hands, raising his brows, “i'm not your dad, and you’re not my kid, but i still wanna make sure you don't starve to death. I’d do it for the others, so I'm not giving you any special treatment.”

Gavin hums gently, smirking a little, “no special treatment anymore? I'm hurt.”

“Har har, kid. Eat your fucking food.”

Gavin’s smiling a little now as he eats his food, lowering his leg and adjusting to sit cross legged. The food is good, of course it is, and it makes Gavin’s heart fill with nostalgia - small jobs gone awry and himself, Geoff and Jack hiding from the cops and a torrential downpour in a small house in blaine county, doing their best to stay warm with some hot food and by sitting next to the too-loud heaters.

“I'm sorry,” Gavin looks up with a frown when Geoff talks, but the other man is just staring down at his tattooed hands as he curls and uncurls his fingers over and over, “i'm sorry for lying so much to you recently, about your pay and about the terms on your contract. I don't really have any excuses apart from being selfish, to be honest.” Geoff clears his throat and rubs the back of his neck, looking up and smiling weakly, “it’s been five years, four since i last saw you, and it’s been harder than i’d like to admit. I was desperate to get you back here through any means, but i feel like i’ve just hurt you and pushed you away more, so… i'm sorry.”

Gavin has to stare at his plate to try and hide the rise of emotion within himself. He’s run out of food to eat so he can't stuff his mouth to stop any dumb shit he might say. 

Geoff must realise the internal struggle he’s going through because he nudges him with his food again, “i'm not gonna ask you to join us again, i feel like it would be a huge fucking insult to do that to you right now, but… the offer is always there, and it always has been.” he leans over and Gavin thinks he’s going in for a hug, doesn't think he would be able to stop himself, but Geoff just takes the empty plate from in front of him, grabs his own, and stands up.

He watches Geoff walk over to the elevator, digging his nails into his palms. “I missed you too,” Gavin blurts out suddenly, staring at Geoff’s back as he stops, “it was hard, and sometimes i wish i hadn't left, but… I needed to.”

Geoff simply nods and steps into the elevator, the door closing slowly behind him. Gavin picks up a small allen wrench and messes around with the device in front of him, fighting through the frustration.

-

“Gav, Gavin,” Michael’s arms wrap around his shoulders and his chin rests on Gavin’s head, “we’re going for bevs, you in?”

Gavin hums, raising his brows, “ _we_? Who else are you dragging into this?” he spins in his chair, looking up at Michael with a smirk. 

The other man hums, sitting on the end of the bed and leaning forward, “everyone, really. Main crew, b-team. _The Vagabond_.” Michael grins teasingly and Gavin groans.

“Not you too,” he tilts his head back against the back of his chair, spinning idly, “Ray gives me enough of this.”

“Yeah, cause it’s _obvious_ ,” Michael laughs as he talks, raising a brow, “he’s definitely into you, dude.”

Gavin shrugs and frowns heavily, turning his chair away, “okay, and?”

“He’s the The Vagabond,” Michael stands up, “he’s, y’know, spooky terrifying? You could totally use that to your advantage if you bang him. Imagine the clout, _I slept with The Vagabond_.”

He almost wants to mention that the The Vagabond is pretty much unknown in the UK just so that the conversation would end, but he kind of wants to go for drinks, “can we just move on? I’ll go for bevs if we can just drop this, Michael.”

Michael perks up slightly, “sounds good to me, boy,” it must have slipped out by accident, but Michael doesn't react apart from the strange look of defiance on his face. Gavin scoots closer and shoves at his shoulder.

“Perfect, boy,” he grins gently. Michael looks relieved if the slump of his shoulders says anything. “You’re always gonna be my boy, ‘kay? Through thick and thin.”

Michael nods before standing and grabbing his arm suddenly, “let’s fuckin’ go, Lindsay wants to hug the shit outta you.”

Gavin squawks slightly when he’s dragged from his seat and through the penthouse, their brisk walk is almost a jog and Gavin keeps losing his footing but Michael’s persistent grip keeps him upright. He barely manages to grab his coat before they reach the elevator

“We’re carpooling,” Michael says when the doors shut, he’s almost mashing the button as if Gavin’s going to change his mind at any second, “Geoff’s driving one car, steffie, one of the ladies in b-team, is driving the other. Some people are meeting us there, Lindsay included, just to save van space.”

“Is that a good idea?” Gavin asks, “Geoff driving?”

Michael nods and leans against the wall, seeming more relaxed now that the elevator is moving, “yeah, dude. He quit.”

Gavin furrows his brows slightly. He’s barely processed that fact before the doors open and they’re greeted by around fifteen or sixteen people. They all cheer when the two of them step out of the elevator and Gavin pulls a face, pushing his arms through the sleeves of his coat, “why the excitement?”

“We were all hoping we could get you to come out with us,” Michael admits as they walk over, “like old times, y’know?”

Gavin smiles a little, nodding and walking over to the crowd of people. Everyone’s seemingly splitting up into travelling groups, two minivans parked next to each other. Most of b-team goes into the one being driven by Steffie, while the ones who can't fit join the main group in Geoff’s. Gavin can recognise one or two of b-team, but most of them are complete strangers. Gavin climbs into the van and sits close to the door, Michael sitting opposite him with a bright grin.

“Hey,” one of b-team says, waving slightly from the front, “Trevor’s mentioned you a little but I haven't seen you around much. Name’s Alfredo.”

“Gavin,” he smiles slightly, tilting his head, “how long have you been on b-team?”

Alfredo pulls a face before laughing, “nah, dude. I'm main crew. Have been for a year or two now.”

Flushing, Gavin grimaces, “my mistake.” more people pile into the van before their conversation can continue, mostly recognisable now.

“Holy shit,” Gavin frowns at the familiar voice, looking out of the van, “Gavin?!”

He laughs, eyes going wide before he climbs out, “Fiona!”

They hug tightly, he presses her face into his neck and tangles a hand in her hair, “i haven't seen you since, when?”

“Bordeaux,” she supplies, pulling away and grinning bright, “the vineyard? Shit, dude, that was nearly a year ago now.” she punches his arm and he doesn't even complain, too surprised to see her, “you didn't text me!”

“Hold up,” Michael frowns, “get the fuck in the van and explain.”

Gavin climbs back in and sits back down, Fiona next to Michael. Turns out, The Vagabond took the seat next to him. Their thighs brush and he struggles to keep his focus for some reason, “Fiona’s a big name in europe, hired muscle, sniper, anything you need.”

“Gav hired me on a whim,” she adds, “someone on his team dropped out and he needed someone quickly, i recognised his name through the grapevine and we worked together in italy first, then germany, then most of northern europe. Last time we saw each other was France last year.”

“You said you needed time off to help a friend, right? Back last april,” Geoff says, voice slightly muffled by the low chatter of everyone else in the van and the engine running as they pull out of the garage. “Came back fucked up and bruised. Shot, too.”

Gavin smirks, “yeah, it was top.”

“ _Top_ ,” she mocks, rolling her eyes, “dumbass.”

He wants to retort something, be all witty and _golden boy_ , but he’s too warm and gooey on the inside to mess around like that right now.

It’s nice to watch everyone interact with each other. Jack’s backseat driving and Geoff arguing with her, Michael and Fiona bickering while Ray eggs them both on, Alfredo and Trevor chatting with Jeremy and The Vagabond about knives or something equally as weird.

Despite it all, he doesn't feel out of place. 

It’s easy to add his own opinions to each of the little conversations without seeming rude or odd or a know-it-all, it’s refreshing.

The van parks and Gavin climbs out, holding the door open for everyone and slamming it shut once the van is empty. Everyone mingles together easily, and Gavin decides that calling the others _b-team_ might be slightly redundant when they’re obviously all close with the main crew, close enough for the split to not be quite so obvious anymore.

“Right then, fakes,” Geoff calls out from the front, smirking. He might not be the boss anymore, but he’s obviously highly respected by everyone if the way everyone snaps to attention tells Gavin anything, “let's head in!”

They don't cheer, but the noise that erupts is definitely something like it. Everyone starts to file in and Gavin is one of the last to enter, too busy watching everyone. He enters alongside Geoff and The Vagabond, hands in his coat pockets. The building isn't what they used to go drink in, less pulsing music and flashing lights and more soft mood lighting and pool and laughing people. There’s a small stage type set up with live music in the back corner, and it’s just the right level for it to be enjoyable.

The fakes take up pretty much most of the tables, but not everyone is sitting. There’s a group surrounding one of the pool tables, making bets and messing around while others order batches of drinks or chat with the bartenders.

Gavin sits at the table with the most people he's able to recognise, smiling at all of them but not saying much just yet. 

Geoff eventually joins them with a tray of drinks, The Vagabond with another, and Gavin raises a brow when one of the tall glasses is placed in front of him, “thanks,” he says weakly, slightly shocked. 

“No worries, kid,” Geoff grins, sitting down. 

“Y’know,” Ray starts, smirking, “if you’re gonna supply him with alcohol, maybe calling him kid is a risky move.” the people listening laugh, and Gavin can't help but join in. it’s easy to let loose with everyone.

The Vagabond sits down next to him with a can of coke, fingers sliding in the condensation on the can. He’s warm, and he forces himself to not react to Ray and Michael’s matching grins.

His phone vibrates once. Gavin sips his beer and looks to Geoff, “how did you find this place?”

“Explored the city a little, found a couple start-up bars and started financing them, made them fake affiliated and safe places for us to go drinking without anyone trying to spike shit or fuck with us.”

“Good idea,” his phone vibrates, “very hipster. Any breweries?”

Geoff laughs, “‘course, kid. Who would I be if I didn't fund a brewery?”

Gavin smirks and shrugs, sipping his beer idly. Geoff is drawn into conversation with the others at the table, so Gavin focuses on the rising bubbles in his beer.

“Hey,” The Vagabond starts, but Gavin’s phone buzzes again and he frowns.

“I'm sorry,” Gavin takes out his phone, frowning at the string of messages from Dan, “i’ll be right back, i need to take care of this.”

“Sure,” The Vagabond slides out of the seat easily and Gavin walks out of the bar, pressing the call button before he’s out of the door.

“What’s up, B?”

 _“Well,” D_ an starts, Gavin walks into a nearby alley and leans against the rough brick wall, _“you know that one guy, the really picky one, uh… the one with the same name as that one F1 driver?”_

Gavin laughs slightly, “Fernando, B. what’s wrong?”

 _“I'm trying to hash a deal out with him, keep everything running smoothly while you’re gone, but he’s refusing to agree to anything unless he talks to you specifically_ ,” Dan explains, Gavin can hear the frown in his tone. “ _Do you know when you’ll be back?”_

He furrows his brow and tilts his head back, knocking it against the wall lightly, “christ, okay… i should be back in two or three weeks, tell him a month and a half and that i’ll sweeten the deal if he waits patiently, i’ll go to meet him in person if it means he’ll lay off for a while.”

 _“Okay_ ,” Dan sighs, voice crackling over the bad connection, _“shit, B, i don't know how you deal with these tossers all the time.”_

“It _is_ much easier working behind a gun or a screen,” Gavin agrees, closing his eyes. It’s getting cold out, a breeze whipping through the alley and flipping his coat up at the edges. The thick material keeps him warm enough. “If he keeps giving you trouble, i’ll call him and talk to him myself, okay?”

“ _‘Kay, B._ ” There's a pause on the other side before Dan sighs again. This has been a tiring few weeks for the both of them, Gavin feels bad for dropping all of this work in Dan’s lap with limited notice.

“Send me over some work if you need to, okay?” he says, frowning softly, “things aren't too busy right now.”

“ _Awright_ ,” there’s some typing on the other side.

Gavin stays on the phone a little longer, wrapping his other arm around himself in some strange semblance of a hug. Guilt floods him suddenly, “sorry for dropping this on you, B-”

“ _Don't apologise, Gav, it’s all fine_ ,” Dan laughs a little, “ _just... come back soon, yeah? Startin’ to forget what you look like already.”_

He laughs tiredly, “okay, Dan. Talk soon.” he hangs up and drops his phone back into his pocket, frowning slightly. He’s starting to feel like he’s being tugged in two different directions and he’s scared that he won't be able to choose where to go. Continue with his current life in the UK or return to the US?

His head pulses with an oncoming headache. He reaches into his pocket and takes out a pack of cigarettes, retrieving one and pulling out his lighter from the same pocket. The smoke burns his throat and it’s nice to feel something other than confusion and forbidden joy at everything going on around him.

Gavin taps some of the ash from the end, scuffing his shoe on the floor with a soft frown.

“Want some company?”

Looking up, he smiles tiredly at the sight of The Vagabond. He’s still holding the can of coke from inside the bar, head tilted like a dog.

“Sure,” Gavin agrees, taking another drag, “s’a bit cold, though. You don't have to stay if you don't want to.”

The Vagabond shrugs, smiling softly and leaning against the opposite wall, “it’s fine, they’re all getting rowdy-drunk now anyway.”

Gavin nods but doesn't continue the conversation, looking back down at the floor as he finishes his cigarette. He’s tired, a horrible bone-tired that comes from too many nights with too little sleep. He kind of wants to go home, but it feels like a bad idea to leave now before everyone else is ready to go. Feels like he might not know where home is anymore.

“Can i ask what the call was about?” The Vagabond raises a brow, “might help to get it off your chest.”

“Well…” Gavin pulls a face before shrugging, “just… business. Stressful clients, hard decisions to make. It’s getting to the point where i just…” he frowns heavily and presses his palm against his eye.

“You need a break,” The Vagabond finishes for him carefully and Gavin nods quickly, taking out another cigarette.

“I'm tired,” he gushes, balancing the cigarette in his mouth as he talks, flicking the flint on his lighter repeatedly, “everyone _wants_ me here, but Dan _needs_ me back there, and i just,” he sparks the lighter more before frowning heavily, gritting his teeth, “for fuck’s sake.” he wants to throw the lighter, scream and cry and throw a strop, but he forces himself to take a calm, albeit shaky, breath.

The Vagabond’s hands close around the hand clutching the lighter, gently uncurling his fingers and taking the lighter. He flicks the flint and lights it easily, holding it against the end of Gavin’s cigarette before closing it and passing it back carefully. “Sucks,” he says simply, frowning.

Gavin droops slightly, “yeah.” he agrees. His mind is stuck on the feeling of The Vagabond’s hands against his own, strangely soft.

“Want some advice?” reflexively, Gavin wants to say no. He hates it when people try to teach him shit, but he trusts The Vagabond enough to not say something stupid.

“Sure.”

“When someone annoys me, I generally kill them.” The Vagabond says sagely, tilting his head up and grinning almost evilly. Gavin can't restrain his laugh, tilting his head back and sighing out a cloud of smoke and mist.

“What do you do when it’s someone you can't kill?”

The Vagabond hums, tapping his chin gently before smirking, “I make sure no one would never know that it was _me_ that killed the person.”

Gavin laughs again, taking a drag and shaking his head, “you’re absolutely top, V.”

The Vagabond smirks and shrugs, but otherwise doesn't say anything else. Gavin finishes his second cigarette and drops the butt on the ground, crushing it under his shoe.

“I could give you a ride home,” The Vagabond says, tilting his head, “or call you a cab. I get it if you don't wanna go back in there.”

Gavin shakes his head and hums, rolling his shoulders and doing his best to psych himself up, “i'm good,” he smiles gently, it feels slightly false and The Vagabond raises a brow as if he can tell, “it’ll probably get the others to lay off a little if i hang around."

“You don't have to if you don't wanna,” The Vagabond shoves his hands into his pockets, “you know they’d understand.”

Gavin nods. He’s hit with a rush of bravery, something in the back of his mind saying _this is the perfect time to take a risk_. Reaching up, Gavin cups The Vagabond’s cheek with one hand, pressing a soft kiss to his other cheek, “thank you for coming out here, V.” he steps back and smiles kindly, his smile growing at the sight of The Vagabond’s bright blush. He steps out of the alley and walks back into the bar. The wave of warmth makes his nose and fingers burn as he sits back down. He resumes drinking his now warm beer and joins in with the first conversation he can, not reacting when The Vagabond sits back down next to him.

There must be something on the other man’s face that gives something away, because when Gavin catches Ray’s eyes he receives a confused and slightly concerned expression from Michael when he looks away. Gavin just raises a brow and averts his gaze from them both.

-

The next morning, Gavin’s head throbs with a hangover and his mouth feels gross and cotton-y. He rubs the back of his arm over his eyes and rolls over, raising a brow slightly.

He’s in his room. Not _his_ room in his apartment, but his office in the penthouse. When he looks under the covers he finds that he’s still in his jeans and his button up shirt. His belt digs into his stomach uncomfortably and his throat clicks drily when he swallows. He grabs his phone from the side and squints when he turns the screen on, much too bright for his light-sensitive eyes right now.

It’s nearing lunch time, he notices the sun shining through the cracks in his blinds.

Gavin sits up and covers his mouth, shuddering and groaning slightly. He’s not twenty anymore, he really shouldn't drink like this. He pushes himself to his feet to find that whoever put him to bed at least took his shoes off, and one of his socks must have fallen off while he was sleeping. He slides his shoes on without looking for his missing sock.

He wonders out into the hall, looking around tiredly. There’s low mumbling coming from the kitchen. He walks in and finds everyone in various states of suffering. Michael is face down with a wet towel on the back of his neck while Lindsay rubs his back and squints across the table at Jack, her hair messy and knotty. There’s no sign of Ray, Jeremy or The Vagabond. There’s a handful of Advil bottles scattered around the table and a jug of water.

“Morning,” Geoff grins, stood next to the stove, “how’s the hangover?” his voice is slightly too loud and he must already know that if everyone’s groans at the table mean anything.

“I'm gonna-” his voice cracks and he grimaces, “-i'm gonna head back to my apartment, shower…” he waves his hand pathetically to signal the rest of his sentence, Geoff laughs at him.

“Need a ride?” Gavin shakes his head slowly, “okay. Don't worry about coming in unless you’re feeling up to it. See you later.”

Gavin nods and waves, walking over to the door and grabbing his Jacket from where it’s crumpled up on the floor. He palms his phone from his jeans pocket with a frown and opens Uber. The Vagabond opens the front door and Gavin smiles weakly.

“I’ll give you a ride,” his voice is low and Gavin could thank god, “c’mon.” he can't find it within himself to fight the other man, nodding and following behind him obediently to the garage.

The zentorno is becoming familiar and Gavin sighs tiredly as he sinks into the seat. He closes his eyes and wraps his arms around himself, slouching down low.

“Hey,” The Vagabond nudges him gently, “I need your address, gav.”

Gavin opens his eyes and nods slowly, reaching over and taking The Vagabond’s phone to type his address into the GPS app. He hands it back after, slouching down again. It’s silent for a while until Gavin sniffs a little and brings his Jacket collar up higher, “did i embarrass myself last night?” he croaks, opening his eyes into slits and looking up at The Vagabond as he drives.

The other man chuckles lightly, the corner of his mouth twitching upwards, “not too much. You stayed sat down most of the night, cuddled up to anyone that would get near you - mostly Geoff and Michael. Jack didn't get away without a hug or two, though.”

He sighs and closes his eyes, “great.”

“If it helps, I'm pretty sure only Geoff remembers.” he takes one of his hands from the wheel and taps his chin, humming gently, “although, i think you might have tried to flirt with the joneses once or twice.”

Gavin sighs tiredly, nodding, “that happens a lot. Lindsay likes my cuddly mood and Michael, well, you know what he’s like when he’s drunk.”

The Vagabond slows the car and parks carefully as he laughs gently, “yeah, i sure do.” he looks over and Gavin can't help but smile tiredly up at him, “you need help getting up there?”

Gavin shakes his head carefully as to not make himself sick, “thank you for the ride, V.” he pats the other man’s hand where it’s resting on the gearstick before opening the passenger door and climbing out, closing it carefully behind himself.

The journey to his apartment is long and arduous, but he makes it there unscathed. The front door is a strong foe, but he manages to force his key into the lock and make his way in.

He swiftly strips down on his way to his bed before falling face first into it, groaning tiredly.

\--

_“If you could be anyone in the world,” Ray started, taking another drag of his blunt before he passed it off to Michael, “who would you be, and why would you be me?”_

_Gavin squawked a laugh, rocking slightly, “X-Ray, no! I need to be friends with you, not be you!”_

_“Yeah,” Michael piped up, “if we’re you, how are we meant to hear your sick quips?”_

_Ray hummed and rubbed his chin, “very true, but if you were me you would be able to hear all of my cut jokes, the unfiltered extended cut of the Ray Narvaez experience.”_

_“No holds barred,” Michael passed the blunt to Gavin._

_“Completely x-rated and insane,” Gavin commented, taking a drag. The burn was hot and filled him with something other than the dread and exhaustion that the monotony of life was causing him._

_“Exactly.” Ray snatched the blunt back when the cherry burned out, flicking his lighter open and lighting it back up, “but answer my question.”_

_Michael shifted to sit on his ass, cupping his own cheeks and blowing a raspberry as he thought about his answer. Gavin watched with raised brows. “Uh, i dunno,” he shrugged, “Geoff? Maybe some celebrity? Who the fuck knows.”_

_Gavin cackled, tilting his head back, “you sodding brownnose!” he looked at Michael, grinning big as Ray laughed too, “Geoff? Really?”_

_“Well,” Michael sputtered, growing flustered, “he’s got a lotta power! He’s a fuckin’ kingpin!”_

_“Barely.” Ray interjected, but Michael just kicked him roughly._

_“Shut the fuck up, dude, i'm serious! Like,” he started to roll another blunt. Gavin reached over and took over for him so that he could finish talking, “thanks. He's gonna, y’know, take over this place one day. I'm glad i get to watch it, yeah? He’s got a lot of power, and…” he must have realised he repeated himself, but he continued anyway, “he’s only gonna get stronger.”_

_“Must be scary, though,” Gavin commented, licking the paper of the blunt and sealing it, “all that power.”_

_“Nah,” Michael grins, taking the blunt and lighting it, “what is there to be scared of when you’re the top of the food chain?”_

_Gavin shrugged. It was a good point. He laid back on the carpet, staring up at the mottled ceiling. It was an old hideout in downtown los santos, they were there after a job and didn't have anything else planned until the next day._

_“Gav, dude,” Ray passed the half smoked blunt over, “who would you be?”_

_Gavin took a drag and closed his eyes as he thought, “dunno,” he muttered. The other two groaned and teased him but once they stopped he realised. “I wouldn't be anyone,” he said, taking a drag and passing it back to Ray. He opened his eyes and watched the smoke escape his mouth, “i wouldn't choose to be anyone, i would just… I dunno. Be a nobody, or cease to exist.” He looked at them both and flushed slightly before frowning at their expressions. He couldn't identify them and it made something uneasy settle in his stomach, “what?!”_

_Michael didn't say anything, just took a drag of his blunt and looked down at the filthy carpet._

_Ray, however, rolled his eyes. “Fuckin’ downer,” he joked, finishing the blunt and crushing the roach on the jar in between the three of them. “Don't answer any more questions if you’re not gonna be as funny as me.”_

_Gavin laughed tiredly, “i should have chosen you. I'm a fool.”_

_“Damn straight.”_

\--

Gavin is running late, because _of course_ he is. Especially on the _one_ day he needs to be on time. 

It’s been a few weeks since the bar, and kissing The Vagabond (it was only on the cheek, but it was still enough that it still makes Gavin’s heartbeat a little too fast), and his god awful hangover. It’s been weeks of work and sleepless nights and it’s finally time.

The job is today. Four hours away. Four hours until it all goes down.

Gavin is oddly nervous. He hasn't done a job with so many people like this for a while, maybe a year or so, but the nervousness is almost comforting. It reminds him of excitement.

He rushes through the front door when the elevator lets him out, jogging to the boardroom and opening the door, “i'm here, i'm here,” there’s a resounding groan.

“Lazy fuck,” the words are harsh but Geoff’s grin softens the blow a little, “sit down, i’ve made some changes.”

Gavin raises a brow and sits at the end of the meeting table, looking to The Vagabond and raising a brow. The other man shrugs uselessly so they both look to the front.

“Still the same set up,” Geoff explains, motioning to the zoomed in map with red lines marking the path for the trucks. “Everything is pretty much the same, but Ray, I want you on the roof tops with Alfredo offering support from the skies, and I need Jeremy running distraction on the ground with Michael. Jack and I will be in one of the trucks, and Gavin, you’ll be in the other truck with The Vagabond.”

Gavin raises his brows at the switch around, but no one else seems all that surprised. Gavin nods slowly.

“Everything else is the same,” Geoff continues, “get into the building, get as much money as you can carry, get out as soon as you can. This is a high risk job, but hopefully with a high reward.”

Everyone starts standing so Gavin shrugs and stands too, walking out quickly and going to his office area. Most of the tech he needs for the job is laid out on the bed neatly, but he’s still desperate to lower the amount necessary. He picks up the compact laptop and starts plugging some wires into it, uploading some of the software from the other tech to try and lessen the load.

He leaves his laptop to update and wonders down the hall to the shared bathroom to take a shower. The door is open a crack so he assumes it’s safe to go in. when he pushes the door open, he’s met with a broad, scarred chest.

“Oh,” he steps back slightly and smiles sheepishly up at him, “sorry, Vagabond, i’ll just…” he trails off.

“No, it’s okay,” The Vagabond smiles a little, but it’s sinister with his half finished face paint, “I'm nearly done, but I could use the company.” He walks back to the mirror over the sink, picking up the paint palette.

If this had happened two weeks ago, maybe three, Gavin would have walked away. But Gavin is so, _so_ weak. He walks into the bathroom and closes the door gently, sitting on the edge of the bath and watching as The Vagabond paints his own face.

Gavin stands up slowly after a few minutes, stepping over and watching as The Vagabond raises a brow and pauses, “yes?”

He bites his lip, “can i do it for you?”

The Vagabond looks surprised but oddly pleased. He nods slowly, “want me to clean my face?”

Gavin shakes his head, “i can do it. Sit.”

He grabs a face towel as The Vagabond sits down behind him. He soaks it under some warm water and squeezes it out before he turns around slowly, grasping the other man’s chin gently as he begins to clean his face. He goes slowly, gentle so as to not irritate his skin, and eventually The Vagabond’s face is clean and soft. 

He turns back around and picks up the white and black pots along with their respective brushes. Carefully, Gavin starts to trace a basic shape with the white paint. He shifts closer, standing between The Vagabond’s legs and using his other hand to tilt his head this way and that to get the right angle. The Vagabond is pliant and easy, something Gavin didn't expect but pleases him in a primal way.

“Head up,” he murmurs, holding his chin again and tilting The Vagabond’s head back a little further. His thumb rests on the other man’s bottom lip as he paints black circles on and around The Vagabond’s eyes. His breath is warm on Gavin’s hand and they both shiver.

“S’cold,” The Vagabond says, tongue darting out and brushing Gavin’s thumb. He hums gently and nods, focused on his task. He paints the hollows of his cheeks down to his jaw in black, then over his nose up to his eyes in a rounded triangle.

Gavin doesn't notice The Vagabond’s intense gaze until he pauses his brushstrokes and locks eyes with him. His heart stutters in his chest and his stomach is tied in knots. 

The Vagabond stands slowly and Gavin is forced to step back to accommodate this; The Vagabond follows him, though, and suddenly his hips are pressed against the counter and The Vagabond is leaning over him with a predatory hunger.

A hand settles on his cheek and he leans into it, eyes closing gently. The Vagabond’s touch is warm and makes him blush, and the man’s other hand settling on his hip doesn't surprise him. He’s ready for the kiss when it happens, starting off soft and gentle, just a simple press of their mouths. Eventually, Gavin grows bored and tilts his head, pressing up into the The Vagabond and biting at his lower lip with a grin.

The Vagabond’s response is delicious. He crowds Gavin almost painfully against the counter but he doesn't care, presses just as hard against The Vagabond’s body. His hands run up from his hips to his abdomen, settling on his chest and framing the underside of his pecs. He wants to make a comment, something funny and witty about being a boob guy, but all his words are pulled out when he gasps gently as the The Vagabond pries his mouth open. Their kiss becomes open mouthed and wet, increasingly so as Gavin kisses back deeply, pressing his tongue behind The Vagabond’s teeth and practically counting them.

He shoves his hands into The Vagabond’s pants, groaning into the kiss when he finds evidence of his enjoyment. The Vagabond’s hands squeeze his ass roughly and he moans into the kiss, cupping The Vagabond’s cock through his boxers.

“Hey, Vagabond- oh my fucking-” the bathroom door slams shut, Gavin didn't even hear it open, but the damage has been done now. They jump apart, The Vagabond working to button his jeans shut while Gavin wipes his own mouth, clutching the counter with a vice-like grip. “I'm so sorry, holy fuck!” Michael laughs on the other side of the door, “I'm so telling Ray!”

“Michael!” Gavin whines, panting a little. He can hear footsteps retreating away so he knows he’s lost any chance of this staying a secret.

“You've got a little,” The Vagabond motions to his own mouth, flustered where the paint isn't covering his face. Gavin turns to look in the mirror and laughs near hysterically at the black and white paint smeared around his mouth and jaw. 

He wipes his face with the cleanest corner of the rag he used to wipe down The Vagabond’s face, sighing heavily before turning around and doing his best to look unaffected by the interruption, “so, uh, should i finish the paint?” he gulps a little. His lips tingle slightly and he knows they’ll look swollen in a bit. 

The Vagabond shrugs weakly, “if you want,” he says, but he’s quickly sitting down again. Gavin resumes painting his face, standing between his legs again. This time, The Vagabond’s hands occasionally brush his thighs when he shifts, as if he’s got his hands up to guard his movements.

He’s breathing deeper than he was earlier, and Gavin would brush it off but even he’s calmed down now (mostly), “are you okay?”

The Vagabond nods carefully, “yeah, i'm, uh… you’re just… a lot…”

Gavin laughs slightly, “I don't know whether to be insulted or not,” he teases, but The Vagabond opens his eyes and looks slightly worried.

“No, it’s not an insult! I…” he blushes slightly, but Gavin covers a lot of it in white paint, The Vagabond doesn't continue, so Gavin lets it go.

“I'm sorry,” The Vagabond says after a while, and Gavin frowns.

“It’s fine, i was just joking.”

“No,” he says, frowning and looking away, “about, uh, about the kiss. And for… touching you like that.”

Gavin frowns heavily, a pit forming in his chest. _Oh god, it was a mistake_. “Why are you sorry..?” he asks carefully, wary of the answer he might get.

“I didn't ask,” The Vagabond explains and Gavin could drown in the relief, “I forced myself on you and I was rough-” he's obviously about to start rambling so Gavin cups his cheeks and stops him.

“Hey, hey,” Gavin laughs gently, raising his brows, “if I didn't want it, I would have stopped you, I would have walked out of here. I _know_ you’re not like that, you wouldn't do something so…” Gavin frowns and sighs, shrugging gently, “something like that.”

“I just…” The Vagabond frowns more, closing his eyes, “I'm aware of the rumours, of how I present myself and my persona, so I don't want you to feel forced.”

Gavin frowns softly before kissing him again, keeping it gentle and sweet before pulling away and pressing their foreheads together regardless of the paint, “rumours don't matter to me, Vagabond.”

“Ryan,” he sighs out, breath warm against Gavin’s lips, “my name’s Ryan.”

Gavin smiles a little and kisses him again, “Ryan.” 

He finishes off The Vagabond’s- _Ryan’s_ \- face paint before turning around and washing his hands in the sink, unable to hide the smile on his own face. Arms wrap around him from behind and he looks up in the mirror at Ryan’s pleased expression, hard to detect through the paint. That must be the point, he surmises.

“You did a good job,” he comments, looking in the mirror, “classic skull with a twist. I really like it.”

“Good.” Gavin dries his hands on his pants, turning around in Ryan’s arms, “should i go field the questions while you get ready?”

Ryan chuckles lowly, tilting his head, “if you don't mind.” Gavin goes to leave, adjusting his shirt and trying to look less messy, but Ryan grasps his wrist gently before he can leave, “hey, let's… let’s do something after the job is done. No one else, just us.”

Gavin smiles warmly, “are you asking me on a date, Ryan?”

The other man laughs gently, “possibly.”

“Well then, i suppose i’ll have to accept.” he squeezes Ryan’s wrist gently with a grin before leaving the bathroom, closing the door gently behind himself. He walks out to the living room and the people crowded there. He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose, crossing his other arm over his abdomen and pressing his fingers into his own side, “okay, out with it.”

There’s an uproar of noise. Ray is cackling alongside Jeremy, obviously at Michael’s expense since he was the one to witness it, while Jack and Alfredo gossip near the TV. Geoff just watches him carefully before stepping forwards, close enough to be heard over all the noise.

“You okay?” is all he asks, carefully concerned. Gavin laughs and nods gently, smiling a little.

“I'm great, Geoff.”

-

“ _Okay everyone_ ,” Geoff says over the comms device, “ _we’re running slightly behind schedule_ -”

“ _Yeah_ ,” Michael butts in, “ _‘cause The Vagabond and golden boy were dicking in the bathroom.”_

“There was no dicks, mogar!” Gavin argues, “you saw no peni!”

 _“Anyway!”_ Geoff wrangles control before things can devolve any further, “ _we need to catch up quickly.”_

Gavin carefully turns down the road. He’s driving, Ryan in the back with the bags of money and his laptop open on the passenger seat facing him. “Ready for trackers?”

“ _Just a minute_ ,” Jack says, pausing for a moment, “ _okay, ready._ ”

Gavin hits enter, and suddenly two more blips are added to the map on his computer screen. “Okay, let’s get moving.” he drives to the first stop, a jewellery store.

“ _How are distractions going?_ ” Geoff asks. If Gavin focuses his hearing enough, he can hear explosions in the distance.

 _“Fuckin’ great!_ ” Michael laughs, _“lil j just took out a fuckin’ gas station, these stickies are great!”_

“ _Snipers?”_ Gavin climbs out of the van and walks into the store, taking the trolley from the storage room in the back and saluting the staff with a friendly smile while he walks back out. He loads everything into the van for Ryan to put in the bags before returning the trolley and getting back into the van.

“ _I'm set up,”_ Alfredo says, Gavin has to think hard to try and remember his code name, _the sauce_. Dumb. “ _following goldenboy’s van now._ ” Gavin smirks a little before flipping the middle finger in view of most of the windows. “ _That’s just rude!”_

“ _Okay,”_ Geoff sighs, “ _brownman? You ready?”_

“ _Nearly.”_ is all Ray says. Gavin drives to the next stop and repeats the routine. Grab trolley, load the truck, return trolley, drive away. There’s something satisfying in doing so, maybe in another life this was his job. How ironic.

“One stop away,” Gavin says, driving casually to the next stop. Jack makes a soft noise.

“ _We’ll be late, there’s traffic on our side of the city_ .” 

_“Take the alley on your right_ ,” Ray says.

“ _Brownman,”_ Jack sighs tiredly, “ _this is a van. It wont fit._ ”

“ _Go on foot then, dummy._ ”

“ _Brownman,_ ” Geoff warns.

Ray laughs, “ _okay, no goofing on the job. Whatever._ ”

Jeremy and Michael both suddenly start cheering, “ _we’ve got two or three cop cars here, we’ll head to the next gas station to get more.”_

Geoff grumbles a little, “ _go bigger. Goldenboy and The Vagabond are nearly at the target._ ”

Gavin parks and climbs out of the van. He walks into the next stop, a large scale bank, and smiles kindly at the teller as he shows his ID for the depository. He nods and lets him through, so Gavin grabs the trolley. Load, bag, return, repeat. He climbs into the van, “on our way there now,” he says.

“ _I can see the smoke from here,_ ” Alfredo comments, “ _surprised you don't have more than three anyway. Something’s fishy._ ”

“ _They probably just think we’re trashing the place again for no reason,_ ” Jeremy guesses, _“I wouldn't worry too much.”_

Gavin’s heart races a little as he pulls up in line with other vans near the depository, “here now.” he mutters quickly, shutting his laptop so the security don't see the screen. He edges forwards alongside the queue, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel, gulping.

“ _Stay calm_ ,” Geoff reassures him, “ _we’ll catch up soon. Just proceed with the plan and hopefully we won't even need the distraction_.”

“ _We’re fine_ ,” Ryan adds, and his presence brings more relief than Gavin would care to admit.

“ID,” the woman at security asks. He passes it over with a friendly grin, but she just gives him a withering look, “you new?”

“Just started a couple weeks ago,” he’s well practised in his accent, but Michael and Geoff both snicker over the comms, “s’nice to have a big job like this.”

“Yeah, well,” the woman passes the ID back, “don't get used to it.”

“ _Wow, you’re gonna get fired from a job you don't even have!”_ Michael mocks him, but Gavin’s more concerned about the woman staring at his laptop.

“What’s that for?” she asks, frowning heavily.

“It’s, well,” he stutters, growing flustered.

“ _You’re writing a book_ ,” Ryan whispers quickly, well aware they could hear him from inside the van, “ _during your breaks you like to write, it’s a pet project!”_

“I'm writing a book, you see,” Gavin rubs the back of his neck, “a story i'm quite fond of. If you want a read i’d be glad to share it-”

“No,” she rushes, pulling a face, “it’s fine. I don't… i don't wanna read your book. Go on through.”

Gavin drives through the security point, heart thundering in his chest and his palms sweaty, “thanks for the save,” Gavin mutters carefully, “think i just got bullied, though. She needs to get fired.”

“ _If method acting by filing a complaint to HR helps you do your job, go for it,”_ Ray drawls, and Gavin rolls his eyes.

He parks in the garage and climbs out of the van. As casually as a man robbing the union depository can, Gavin walks over to the corner where the larger trollies are. He wheels it over to the truck and opens up the bottom compartment, just big enough for Ryan to fit with the four empty bags.

“This plan sucks,” Ryan says as he climbs inside the trolley, clutching the three empty bags, “why is the big dude hiding inside the fucking cart?” Gavin shuts the compartment, now he can only hear Ryan on the comms, “it’s dumb. So dumb.”

“ _Maybe complain about the plan when your boss isn't listening?_ ” Geoff suggests, but Jack laughs at him.

“ _Treyco is our boss now. And Rose before that,”_ she laughs again, “ _it’s been so long that we now are obligated to bully you for being demoted._ ”

“Rose was boss?” Gavin asks carefully, wheeling the trolley through the halls, “insane. Possibly idiotic.”

“ _Hey!_ ” an explosion echoes through the comms when Michael turns his mic back on, “ _that’s my wife!”_

There’s impressions of _Borat_ in varying degrees of accuracy and Gavin smirks a little.

“ _Two stops away_ ,” Jack says, “ _nearly there, goldenboy._ ”

“ _There’s five cars on you now_ ,” Ray says, “ _still not enough, though. There’s seven in the local precinct, and you’re about to cross into another_.”

“ _Step it up, distraction, go all out if you need to.”_ Geoff orders.

Gavin opens the door to the closest safe room, shutting it behind himself and opening his phone. “Shutting off cameras in room one, go to room two when you get here.”

 _“Will do._ ”

Gavin types on his phone and waits for the turning camera to face the ceiling. Once it does, he turns around and quickly opens the bottom compartment of the trolley. “Five minutes.” he says. Ryan simply nods. 

Emptying the various drawers and safes becomes rhythmic, at first he tries to replace the drawers but he eventually stops caring, dropping each of the small grey boxes on the ground once they're empty.

His phone beeps, “two minutes,” he says.

“ _Um,”_ Ray starts, seeming confused, “ _the cars are leaving?”_

“ _Is that a question, brownman?”_ Geoff asks, voice tense suddenly, “ _I need a little bit of certainty right now!_ ”

“ _Three of them have just separated,”_ Ray continues.

Alfredo cuts in before Ray can explain more, “ _something’s happening in front of the depository, there’s a lot of guards._ ”

“Oh god,” Gavin stops loading the bag. He’s on his second one. “They know we’re here.” he shares a look with Ryan before gulping and touching the edge of his comms device, “we need to turn off our comms. Everyone needs to retreat.”

“ _Fine_ ,” Geoff agrees, frowning, “ _teams to their safehouses, if you’re compromised get to the closest one and tell us._ ”

“ _I’ll stick around to offer support for the golden van.”_ Alfredo says.

“ _Me too,”_ Ray joins in, “ _i'm moving vantage points already.”_

Gavin doesn't hear what Geoff has to say in response, taking out his earpiece and crushing it under his boot. He shoves all of the bags into the storage of the trolley, Ryan helping.

“Hey,” Ryan stops him when he reaches for the door, pressing a long knife in a hilt and a pistol into his hands, “take these.”

Gavin looks up at him, sighing out shakily. He straps the knife to his thigh over his pants and tucks the gun into his waistband before lifting Ryan’s mask just enough to press a rough kiss to his mouth. He pulls the mask back down when he separates, paint tacky on his chin.

He swings the door open and pushes the trolley down the hall swiftly, almost riding it down to the parking garage. Once they reach the van, they load the bags into the back.

“I’ll get in the front with you,” Ryan says, and Gavin doesn't bother arguing, just nods and slams the rear doors shut. He climbs into the front, taking his laptop from the passenger seat and dropping it on the floor in front of the van’s wheels, shooting it twice and climbing in behind the steering wheel.

“Ready?” Gavin asks, looking at Ryan. His heart is racing. 

They’re not going to make it out of this, he thinks.

“Ready.” Ryan agrees.

Gavin speeds the van out of the garage, running over the remains of the laptop on the way out. The van leaves the ground momentarily when they reach the peak of the ramp, but it returns to earth swiftly with a great crash. Gavin keeps his foot on the gas, speeding through the traffic gate and into the crowd of guards already shooting at the van. He turns right immediately, speeding up towards Blaine county and away from the city to try and get to their safe house, but there’s cop cars speeding down the road at them already.

“Left!” Gavin U-turns and drives to the left instead, deeper into the city. The sirens behind them are deafening and Gavin desperately wants to cover his ears.

“ _Pull over!”_ the speaker shouts, crackling. Gavin restrains himself from poking his head out to shout back, knowing he’ll probably get his brains blown out. Instead, he keeps his foot on the pedal and shifts gears, the van jolting as it hits max speed of barely seventy miles.

“Gavin, there’s a blockade,” Ryan warns, but Gavin shakes his head and braces himself against the seat.

“We can't turn around,” he says, “we’re going through!”

Ryan nods quickly and braces himself with the handle above the door.

The van crashes into the blockade of cop cars, taking out most of them before flipping and tumbling end over end. Gavin and Ryan are bounced around the front of the vehicle, and by the time the vehicle comes to a stop it’s balanced precariously on its dented roof.

“Get out,” Ryan groans, already moving. Gavin is too dazed, blinking slowly with a small _wha…_ “get out, quick!” cops swarm the car, pulling both of them out.

“You’re under arrest,” the one on Gavin says, pulling his arms back roughly - fuck, that _hurts_ , something has to be broken, “anything you say or do,”

“Get _off!_ ” Gavin shouts, struggling more as he comes to his senses. He manages to turn over and get his arms free, shoving at the cop.

“Will be used against you in the court of-”

A sniper shot echoes with a loud _bang_ and the cop’s head explodes above him. Gavin quickly closes his mouth and eyes before scrabbling to his feet and drawing his gun, he shoots at any that get close, taking out most of them, but his gun runs out before he can kill the last couple.

Now that he’s more focused, he can hear the repeated sniper shots coming from two different areas. There’s cops dropping like flies around them. One of the cops steps forwards with his baton drawn and swings quickly. Gavin brings up an arm to stop it from hitting his head, but it collides with his bad arm and sends him to the floor with a shout. He draws his knife before the one he’s focused on can get an advantage, cutting at his achilles and the back of his knee so that he’s also on the floor.

A hand tangles in his hair and pulls him away, a gun pressed to the back of his neck, “drop the knife!”

“Kill him!” the cop on the floor orders, clutching his useless leg, “fucking kill him!”

“But protocol-”

“ _Fuck_ protocol, just fucking kill him-”

Gavin wrenches his head to the side and jams his knife up through the head of the cop holding him. The gun fires and the sound is _deafening_ , but the bullet only cuts his cheek, colliding with the cop on the floor and making him call out in pain, desperately pressing his hands against the wound. Gavin takes the now-dead cop’s gun and shoots him twice, stumbling around to the other side of the van. 

Ryan is pinned down by a cop, a baton against his throat and a piece of shrapnel in his thigh from the car. His mask has been knocked off, too, blood coating his face and dying white paint red. Gavin quickly shoots the cop on top of him, running over and offering a hand, “come on, we need to go!” he can barely hear himself despite the fact that he’s shouting, but he knows Ryan does. He helps the older man up before rushing to the back of the van, passing Ryan two of the bags and taking the two remaining ones. He carefully threads his arm through the straps of one of the bags, gripping the other in the hand of his good arm. “We can head to my apartment!”

Gavin looks over in time to see Ryan nod, so he runs over to the nearest alleyway. He keeps an eye out as Ryan catches up, slowed down severely by his leg. Gavin leads him down the alley, recognising this area. They’re surprisingly close, the van must have tumbled further along the road than they thought.

“Hands up!”

Two cops round the corner, but one must have an itchy trigger finger because he’s already shooting. Gavin is shoved to the ground and he manages to land on his bad arm, because _of course_ , but this time the pain is much worse, sharper somehow.

Something hits the floor near him but Gavin doesn't look, drawing his gun instead and shooting at the two cops. He gets one in the throat, sending him down with a spray of blood and a weak gurgle. The other one takes two in the chest before hitting the ground. Gavin forces himself to sit up carefully, eyes going wide as he chokes on his breath.

“Oh _god_ ,” he croaks, scrabbling over. Ryan is writhing on the ground, wheezing slightly.

“M’fine,” he opens his eyes slowly, “winded.” 

Gavin checks the impact spots. One just on the end of his bullet vest, while the other is just below his collarbone but above his vest, uncomfortably centred in his chest.

“Ryan,” he starts, but it’s too weak to continue. Ryan shakes his head.

“We need to move.” he says, sitting up.

Gavin helps him up carefully, frowning heavily. He leans Ryan against himself, leading him out of the alley and across the street quickly to his building. There’s no one in the lobby of his apartment, which is a fucking _godsend_ , but waiting in the elevator after what they’ve just done almost makes Gavin delirious. He rushes down the hall when the elevator stops, shoving his key in the lock and stumbling inside.

Ryan collapses to his knees while Gavin locks the door again, using the chain and the deadbolt, but Gavin is quick to shed his bags and help Ryan back up, prying the bags from his hands too, “come on, Ry, i'm gonna patch you up, okay?”

He hums in response, but Gavin knows that’s the best he’ll get right now. He leads Ryan to the bathroom, fumbling around his medicine cabinet with his good hand once he’s laid Ryan in the bathtub - thankfully his right hand is okay. He can't imagine giving stitches to another person with his left hand.

He washes his hands quickly before grabbing his first aid kit and climbing into the bath, straddling Ryan’s waist but being mindful of his thigh, “Ryan?” he frowns worriedly, eyes going wide. He slaps the older man’s cheek gently, then harder, “Ryan!”

“Mhm,” Ryan frowns tiredly, opening his eyes slowly. They’re hazy with pain, but Gavin smiles in relief and laughs almost hysterically.

“Oh thank god,” he sighs out, “stay with me, love, keep your eyes on me.” he cuts through Ryan’s shirt, unbuckling his bullet vest after.

“Its… s’gonna be hard not to,” Ryan grins, blinking slowly. Gavin laughs weakly, rolling his eyes and opening his first aid. 

“You’re so dumb,” Gavin kisses him wetly, not caring about the blood coating them both. He pulls back and takes the tweezers from his bag, putting Ryan’s hand on his shoulder, “this is gonna suck.”

“S’okay,” Ryan says, “just do it.”

Gavin nods. He slides the tweezers into the hole, frowning at the way Ryan’s fingers dig into his shoulder. He doesn't complain, just sighs shakily and continues digging into the wound. Ryan arches his back suddenly and shouts, “stop! Fuck, shit, please-” he gasps shakily and Gavin nods, stilling.

“Okay, love, it’s okay,” Ryan nods weakly and moves his hand to the back of Gavin’s neck, slipping slightly in the blood, “i need to continue, you’re bleeding a lot.” Ryan takes a few deep breaths before nodding.

Gavin pushes the tweezers deeper before feeling them click against the bullet. He pulls it out quickly but as carefully as he can, hand shaking by the time it’s out. “Okay, babe, it’s out, hard part done.”

“Y’should call me that more…” Ryan pants softly, grinning, “ _babe_ , sounds nice. Love is nice too…”

Gavin nods and bites the inside of his lip, squeezing his eyes shut, “okay, love.” he opens his eyes and takes a needle and some sutures from the kit, lifting his bad arm and ignoring the burning in his eyes as he holds the needle with it. He threads the needle after one or two tries, holding it with his good hand.

“Your arm,” Ryan starts, blinking slowly, but Gavin shakes his head.

“S’fine, barely hurts,” it feels more like he’s reassuring himself instead of Ryan. He leans down close, “gonna start stitching now, okay? A little pinch,” he feels Ryan’s nod more than he sees it, so he starts the sutures slowly. The wound shuts quickly, smaller than you’d expect for so much blood, but he’s relieved anyway. He leans down and bites the final suture from the needle, reaching for a gauze pad and quickly taping it down over the wound.

“Lemme help you,” Ryan goes to sit up, one of his hands on the back of Gavin’s thigh just under his ass, “you're hurt, you…”

Gavin helps him sit up against the wall of the tub, hushing him, “once i fix your thigh we can fix each other, okay? You’re really hurt.”

Ryan frowns heavily but nods, reaching up slowly to cup the back of Gavin’s neck with his other hand, gentler this time. He leans into the touch, sighing shakily as he comes down from the adrenaline high. The sirens in the city are starting to quieten down now, but he’s still nervous.

He’s never had something so important at risk.

“Kiss me,” Ryan sighs, so gentle but desperate that Gavin can't help but indulge him. It’s comforting for himself, too, so he doesn't complain if it goes on for a little while, tilting his head into it and pressing closer. Ryan’s thumb strokes the back of his neck gently and his other hand strokes his thigh, so Gavin has to fight himself to pull away.

“I’ll come back, don't worry,” Gavin says, smiling a little teasingly. Ryan seems to be returning to his senses, if worryingly slow, but he still manages a wry smile.

He helps Ryan shift so that his legs are over the edge of the bath, Gavin then cuts through Ryan’s jeans to expose the embedded shrapnel a little better.

“If you wanted me out of my pants so badly, you could have asked,” Ryan comments, grinning gently.

Gavin rolls his eyes but doesn't respond. His head is swimming slightly but he fights through it to grab a few fistfuls of gauze to staunch the wound. He pulls off his belt, folding it and holding it out for Ryan, “bite down.” Ryan obeys easily, putting the thick leather in his mouth and digging his teeth into it.

Gavin grips the piece of metal carefully, “okay, breathe with me.” he breathes in and out slow and rhythmically, waiting until Ryan copies him. “On three, yeah?” Ryan nods, keeping the slow breathing. “One, two!” Gavin pulls out the metal and presses the gauze against it quickly, closing his eyes and trying to block out Ryan’s cry of pain.

“I'm sorry,” Gavin says, voice shaking a little, “fuck, sorry,” he looks up, but Ryan is shaking his head as the belt falls from his mouth. The older man blinks quickly through the pain and shudders, the sharp pain having assisted in bringing some clarity to his mind.

“I would’a done the same,” he croaks, shaking, “fuck, this sucks.”

Gavin nods weakly and laughs, picking up the needle and rethreading it with Ryan’s assistance. He manages to stitch the wound quickly after checking the blood flow, luckily there’s no sign of artery damage. “Nearly done, nearly done,” he chants, pressing his head against Ryan’s arm. He fumbles the scissors when he reaches for them and knocks them over the edge of the tub, he curses before taking a smaller pair from the kit and cutting the suture thread.

His hands start to shake and he curls into himself, sighing shakily.

“Gav? Gav, c’mere,” arms tug him close carefully, “get close, okay? You’re going into shock, but I've got you, it’s okay.”

Gavin nods shakily, curling around his bad arm and looping his good one around Ryan’s neck. He needs the body warmth, he knows this, but it's hard to let himself lay in Ryan’s arms.

“Gavin, open your eyes, look at me,” he looks up at Ryan with a frown, sitting up slowly when the other man does, “where's your bed? We need to get you warm.”

Gavin nods slowly and pulls himself to his feet, helping Ryan step over the edge of the bath. The blood and soiled clothes left behind make Gavin’s head spin so he looks away, tucking his head into Ryan’s arm as he leads the way to his room.

It’s messy, clothes everywhere and bed not made in his rush to leave earlier that day. It frustrates him a little, normally he’s _neat_ , but there's nothing he can do about it now. Ryan climbs into the bed and brings Gavin into his lap, tugging the covers up to Gavin’s chin.

“Nice room,” Ryan jabs, but Gavin whines, “okay, sorry.” he rubs the bicep on Gavin’s good arm, using the friction to warm him up, “s’fine, you’re gonna be fine.”

Gavin nods slowly and closes his eyes.

“Gavin,” he opens his eyes, shifting so the covers come up higher, “tell me about your home in the UK, what’s it like?”

Gavin shrugs weakly, eyes going lidded, “don't have one. Safe houses only. Change every couple weeks.”

“Oh,” Ryan holds his good hand, warming his fingers, “do you want a home there?”

He shakes his head, “no.”

“What about here?” Gavin nods quickly, making himself dizzy, “in the penthouse?”

“No,” he says, “too… too much. They’re a lot.”

Ryan chuckles weakly, pressing his face into Gavin’s neck, “I agree. I don't live there either.”

Gavin makes a pleased sound, leaning back into Ryan and tilting is head up, “tell me about it.”

“It’s comfy, two bedrooms,” Ryan pushes his hand up Gavin’s shirt and settles it gently on his stomach under his bullet vest, “lots of plants. Sometimes there’s a stray cat that comes to visit, she’s old and very sweet.”

Gavin smiles gently, nodding, “have you named her?” he asks, slowly warming up.

“No, but if you come over i’ll let you name her.”

He hums and turns his head, pressing his nose into the hollow of Ryan’s neck, “y’haven't even taken me for a date, ry…”

He chuckles softly, “maybe i’ll take you for dinner at my place, make you something homemade to make up for all the take out.”

Gavin laughs, “i liked the take out. They can be our dates.”

“Yeah?” Gavin nods gently, “good. It was kinda like a date in my opinion, anyway. I was just too scared to ask.”

“Cute,” Gavin says, “you’re cute. Can't wait to give you more kisses.”

Ryan laughs and hugs him closer, “i'm guessing you’re feeling better?”

Gavin nods slowly, flexing his fingers in Ryan’s hand, “yeah.” he sighs out tiredly, “i think my arm is broken.”

Ryan nods slowly, “i think so too,” he says, pressing his nose against Gavin’s temple, “s’okay, i’ll help you set it and then we can just shower and get back in bed.”

Gavin nods and stands slowly, pulling the depository uniform shirt off over his head carefully, making sure he doesn't catch his arm in it.

“Christ, Gavin,” Ryan sighs, looking at his arm.

It’s bruised to shit, black and purple all up and down from his knuckles to his elbow.

“Fuck,” Gavin says, looking away. It hurts more now that he sees it, unable to ignore the sharp pain. 

“We can just set it in here,” Ryan reassures him, smiling slightly, but he looks strangely shaken, “don't look.” 

Gavin nods and sits down, keeping his head turned away.

Ryan’s hands touch above his elbow and along his fingers, tilting his arm this way and that. “Don't look,” he reminds him.

“You’re just really making me want to bloody look, Ryan.”

“Sorry.”

“Don't apologise,” Gavin sighs shakily, “pass me a pillow.” he hugs the pillow against his chest with his good arm, biting into the top of it. The feeling of the material in his mouth makes him gag a little but he knows he can't let it go.

“Ready?”

Gavin nods, biting down harder. He can already feel tears rising when Ryan’s fingers curl around his bruised forearm. The grip tightens suddenly on both sides, pulling and shifting. Gavin’s voice cracks before he can shriek, causing him to let out a low, animalistic keen. Ryan lets his arm go when he’s done and Gavin tips onto his side, curling around his arm and the pillow. He digs his teeth into the pillow, shaking and gasping slightly.

“Okay, it’s done, baby, all done,” Ryan appears in front of his face, giving him a soft smile to try help him relax. “All done.” he repeats.

Gavin nods and closes his eyes, sighing shakily before opening his mouth from the pillow. He gulps and shudders, reaching out his good hand and relaxing when Ryan grasps it instantly, “thank you,” he says, almost a croak, and Ryan just laughs.

“It’s okay, don't thank me. Do you have a brace anywhere? Or stuff for a cast?” Ryan links their fingers and squeezes gently. Gavin nods slowly, “there’s a brace in the bathroom, i’ll come…” Gavin sits up slowly, standing up on shaky legs before helping Ryan up too. They shuffle to the bathroom together and Gavin groans tiredly at the state of his bath, bloodstained and filthy. He uses his good hand to fish most of the clothes and gauze out, reaching in and turning on the shower.

“How do you like it?” Gavin asks, looking up at Ryan where he’s leaning against the sink.

“Just…” he shrugs, “hot. As hot as you’re comfortable in.”

Gavin turns it up high, steam billowing out from the spray. He drops his pants so he’s just in his boxers. He drops those too when he sees Ryan doing the same, helping him step out of the pant holes. 

“You’re…” Ryan starts, but he doesn't continue, chewing his lip.

Sighing out, Gavin steps into the bath first, helping Ryan over the edge and nudging him to stand in the spray first, “if it’s a problem, can we deal with it later, maybe?”

Ryan turns his head to look over his shoulder, “i was gonna say _handsome as hell_ , but whatever.”

Gavin presses his face between Ryan’s shoulder blades, grinning a little, “thanks,” he picks up some soap and cleans Ryan’s back of any dried blood, “i mean, i guess i won't compliment your dick if you won't compliment mine.”

“My apologies,” Ryan rubs his with his hands under the stream, “your cock perfectly caters to my oral fixation, and I would _gladly_ spend a day on my knees for you. Now it’s my turn.”

If Gavin wasn't so tired and sore, the injection of heat into his stomach from Ryan’s words would probably serve to turn him on, “fuck,” he mutters, cleaning around Ryan’s thigh carefully, “you’re got a perfect dick, thick and long. Okay? I'm not great with the words bollocks, especially with an ass like yours in front of me.” he pinches lightly, but Ryan’s reaction makes it seem like he slapped it as hard as he could, jolting forwards and nearly slipping on the wet porcelain of the tub.

“Christ,” Gavin laughs a little, “you like that, then?”

Ryan blushes indignantly, “no…” he blushes more, “yeah, maybe, but you’re not doing that again.”

Gavin smirks and rolls his eyes, “okay, sensitive cheeks. Switch with me, i'm getting gooey.” the blood on his front and his face is no longer dry due to the steam, but it’s not washing away.

“Gross, okay. Help me pivot.”

Gavin settles his hands gently on Ryan’s hips, supporting him as he shuffles around on his bad leg. He moves forwards into the stream once Ryan is steady, tilting his head back and just closing his eyes as he stands there, humming gently.

“Nice pelt,” Ryan comments, shuffling closer and running a gentle hand down his sternum.

Gavin scoffs, “thanks. I like to think of myself as a human chia pet.”

Laughing, Ryan shrugs, “accurate.” he picks up the soap and rubs his shoulders. Gavin relaxes under it, humming tiredly.

“I wonder what the others think we’re doing now,” he comments, tilting his head, “probably not this.”

Ryan chuckles, “running for our lives, probably.”

“Still?” Gavin raises a brow and smirks, “I'd hope they have more faith in us than that.”

“Probably not.”

Gavin rubs his face clean, frowning and shuddering as the water runs scarlet, then pink, then red. Eventually the water runs clear from both their bodies, but they both stay under the water until it goes cold.

“You…” Gavin frowns softly, “you pushed me out of the way.”

Ryan frowns against his temple, sighing, “I did.”

“Don't do it again.” there’s no room for argument in Gavin’s tone, and Ryan must realise this because he simply nods and rubs his hip.

Once the water starts to cool down, Gavin reaches out and turns the shower off. They both stand there dripping but Gavin helps Ryan out when they both start to shiver. He passes Ryan a towel and rubs himself dry with another, pausing before his bad arm.

“Here,” Ryan shuffles over after pulling up his boxers, “grab the brace, I'll help you dry your arm in the bedroom.

Gavin nods and kneels under the sink, digging into the small set of shelves. He pulls out the brace, then a sling to make it easier for himself. He stands up again and leads Ryan back to the bedroom, grabbing some clean boxers from his drawers and tugging them on. He sits on the bed when Ryan gestures for it. He tilts his arm around curiously before grimacing at the jagged gash on the other side of his forearm.

It’s probably for the best that he didn't look. Explains why it hurt so much, though.

Ryan carefully wraps the towel around his arm, keeping it loose so that it dries instead of squeezing his arm. The skin is only slightly damp when he pulls the towel away gently, sighing out in relief at the lack of blood on the towel, “looks like i didn't fuck up your arm.”

Gavin makes a noise, frowning softly, “you wouldn't.”

“Not if i could help it.”

Gavin helps with sliding the brace on, sighing out tiredly and wincing when it tightens. He slides the sling on slowly and stands again.

“Where are you going?” Ryan probes, frowning softly, “we both need rest.”

“We also need to check in with Geoff before he burns the city down,” Gavin points out, raising a brow. Ryan relents, nodding and sitting back in the bed. Gavin wanders to the bathroom and grabs his phone from his pants, making his way back to the bedroom and sitting next to Ryan against the headboard.

“Call or text?”

“Text,” Ryan says, “he’ll think we need to stay hidden. Won't disturb our peaceful slumber.”

Gavin laughs gently and nods.

_[Gavino freebird]: we’re safe_

_[glr]: jesus christ_

_[glr]: you scared the shit outta all of us. Alfredo lost sight of you in that alley_

_[glr]: come back when it’s safe to. No sooner_

“So,” Gavin grins a little, “two or three months?”

Ryan scoffs, scooting to lay on his back, “you wish.”

Gavin sighs and imitates Ryan, frowning at the dull ache throughout his body. His body is covered in bruises and the open cut on his face stings to hell and back, not to mention his arm. It seems that the _peaceful slumber_ Ryan mentioned has gone out of the window, considering Gavin is now wide awake. 

“I, uh,” Gavin pulls a face, resting his good hand in between them both, “i thought we were going to die today,” he admits, gulping.

Ryan sighs. “Me too,” he says, pinkie finger linking with Gavin’s between them both. They stare at the ceiling in silence, “i think…” Ryan sighs gently, moving his hand to hold Gavin’s fully. It makes Gavin feel warm inside. “I think i would have been okay with it, since, y’know… I got to kiss you, before and during.”

“Me too,” Gavin agrees, closing his eyes.

-

Gavin jolts awake with a gasp, going to curl his hands into fists before wincing and sighing. He doesn't remember when he fell asleep, he doesn't even remember the dream that woke him up, but he’s still shaken enough that he doesn't think he can sleep again.

Ryan is spooned up closely behind him, one hand cupping his inner thigh and his opposite bicep acting as Gavin’s pillow. He brings the covers up closer, sighing out and doing his best to ignore the blood stains from where he and Ryan sat and curled together before their shower.

“Mhm,” Ryan presses his mouth against the back of Gavin’s neck, “wha’s wrong..?” his words are slurred by sleep, Gavin feels guilty for waking him up.

“Nothing,” Gavin soothes, reaching out his good hand to touch Ryan’s above him, “go back to sleep, love. It was just a bad dream.”

Gavin can feel the muscles of Ryan’s face twitch, his brows slowly furrowing, “s’fine now,” his hand tightens against Gavin’s thigh before he trails it up to rest on his abdomen, “i'm here.”

He sighs and nods, turning over carefully and pressing their heads together, “thank you, love,” Gavin murmurs, kissing him softly. He pulls away and reaches his good hand up, playing with the long strands of Ryan’s hair that are in his face.

Gavin studies Ryan’s face, watching him blink slowly as he wakes up. Gavin sits up slowly and slouches, running a hand through his hair. The moon illuminates the room with a gentle blue light through his thin blinds, giving Ryan’s skin an unnatural pallor when he looks down at the other man.

“You’re really beautiful,” Gavin comments, tilting his head idly. Ryan’s hand rubs up and down the centre of his back before tracing along a thick scar.

“What’s this?” he asks, fingers dancing along the soft scar tissue.

Gavin twists to look back before humming and straightening his back a little, “i think it was a knife. Don't remember much of it, ask Ray. he was there for the aftermath.”

Ryan nods and sits up, tugging Gavin close, “c’mere,” he says, and Gavin goes pliantly without a complaint. It’s nice to feel small like this sometimes, despite how it used to make him feel.

Gavin strokes up and down Ryan’s chest, tilting his head before twisting his hand and walking his fingers along the soft flesh of his abdomen, “this one,” he rubs his middle and index finger in a slow circle over a mottled scar, the skin tougher and slightly ridged.

Ryan hums, “burn mark, torture.” he tilts his head, “when i first worked for Geoff, i got grabbed and they wanted me to spill. I nearly did cause I thought he wasn't gonna come, but he walked in himself and killed the guy point blank.”

Gavin nods slowly, tilting his head when Ryan’s hand cups a scar on the side of his neck, thick but soft and pale with age, “glanced bullet,” Gavin shudders when Ryan traces along the length of the scar repeatedly, “Bordeaux.”

“The job with Fiona?”

Gavin nods and laughs gently, “the job with Fiona.” he confirms. He sits up fully and straddles Ryan’s lap, careful to not lean on his thigh too much. Ryan’s hands immediately go to the backs of his thighs and Gavin just rolls his eyes. He leans into the gentle hold, pressing his palm against a jagged line on his pec, “this one?”

“Serrated knife, rural georgia,” he smiles almost fondly, “one of my first. Got mugged near a 7/11, had all my groceries stolen.”

Gavin frowns gently, “did you find him?”

Ryan scoffs, “obviously. Gutted him while I looked him in the eye, made sure he knew he deserved it.” he sighs a little, “nearly starved.”

Leaning forwards, Gavin presses a gentle kiss against the scar, running his thumb along it, “what a prick.”

“Mhm.” Ryan reaches out gently, “now what,” he touches along the thick, raised lines on his fingers, “are these? I can feel them sometimes when you touch me.”

He raises his hands and curls his fingers slightly so they all line up, slightly thinner lines on either side of his hands on his neck.

“Piano wire,” a strange expression crosses Ryan’s face.

Gavin shrugs, looking down at his own fingers when he lets his hands fall into his lap, “well, it might have been cheese wire since i was in switzerland.” the joke falls flat. Ryan grasps his hands gently and kisses his fingers, turning his head so that Gavin cups his cheeks.

“Sucks,” Ryan provides, closing his eyes. It’s enough for Gavin; he laughs gently.

“Yeah,” he agrees, “it did. Thought i was gonna lose my fingers.” Gavin leans in and kisses his jaw, sighing tiredly, “sorry for waking you.” he changes the subject, burying his face in Ryan’s neck.

Ryan shakes his head and hugs Gavin closer, “it’s fine. You can always wake me if need be.”

-

The tv droans on endlessly, the news focused on whatever celebrity drama is going on. There's brief coverage on the depository robbery, but it’s passed over quickly. It happened three days ago, now, and there’s always something new to distract the citizens of los santos.

Gavin is rather distracted now, too. Ryan is knelt between his legs, kissing him deep and messy. There hasn't been much to do these last few days, so it was obvious that things would eventually turn to this. He turns his head into the kiss, opening his mouth and moaning sweetly, trailing off into a whine when Ryan bites at his jaw. He carefully rests his braced arm against the back of Ryan’s neck, trailing his other hand down Ryan’s body.

“Hm,” Ryan pulls back a little, tilting his head and grinning, “you still taste like blood-”

“Urgh,” Gavin frowns, nose wrinkling slightly, “gross. Do you want me to touch your cock or not? If you’re gross I won't.”

Ryan laughs, “that would be nice.” they kiss again. Gavin is easily distracted, his earlier disgust forgotten as he opens his mouth to accept Ryan’s tongue. His legs shift open a little wider as he slides his hand into Ryan’s briefs, fingers teasing at the head of his cock before sliding down to grasp it gently. Ryan shudders and rocks into it slightly and Gavin laughs a little.

“Cute,” he says, “so easy to make you melt…”

Ryan scoffs and shudders again when Gavin runs his thumb along the underside of his head, “bet i could ruin you first.”

“What’s the bet?”

“Bragging rights-”

“Who the hell am i gonna brag to, Geoff? Dumb idea.”

Ryan sighs and pulls a face, “don't mention Geoff during sex.”

“Is this sex?” Gavin asks, smirking, “because i'm feeling woefully neglected, so-” he gasps and shudders when Ryan’s knuckles pinch the short length of his cock through his boxers, the material quickly becoming damp, “oh, no longer neglected, _jesus_ ,” he takes his hand from Ryan’s boxers and licks his palm quickly, shoving it back in and giving his cock a smooth tug. The low growl makes Gavin shudder, especially when paired with the tight grip on his own cock.

Gavin tugs the other man closer, stroking him a little easier with the better angle. “You're so thick,” he murmurs, smirking gently, “bet you’d stretch me real well, hm? I’d get all wet and tight around you-”

“Gavin, Jesus _Christ_ ,” Ryan grits out through his teeth, hips stuttering, “warn me next time…”

Gavin shrugs, gripping the base of his cock tight, “nah, it’s okay. I'm sure i could get myself off if you came first, jerk off over you-”

“Nah,” Ryan shakes his head quickly and Gavin pauses his hand.

“Not into it? Okay,” Gavin hums, “what did you like?”

“The, uh,” Ryan’s hips stutter again, “big dick thing, making you all wet.”

Gavin chuckles and grips him tight, “big ego, more like,” he strokes from root to tip, moaning softly when Ryan’s hand moves past his boxer waistband and cups his cock. “Or is it more of a service thing? You just like the thought of putting your cock to good use? Making me cum over and over?”

Ryan tenses and his cock flexes and pulses in Gavin’s hand, back arching slightly. Gavin smirks triumphantly.

“How many times would you do it? How much could you hold yourself back? Until I was begging for you to finish? Until I was limp and satisfied under you?”

Groaning, the other man tugs at Gavin’s boxers, “need to touch you, see what i'm doing,” Gavin nods quickly in agreement, pulling Ryan’s briefs down quickly and biting the inside of his lip at the sight of Ryan’s cock, flushed red from his teasing.

Ryan pushes him to lay back, kissing down his body slowly, trailing his mouth along each scar on his body until-

Gavin’s phone buzzes loudly on the table, almost falling off until Gavin manages to catch it, panting softly and checking the ID, “it’s Geoff,” he sighs, toes curling into the couch.

“Answer it.”

“What?” Gavin frowns up at Ryan, “did i hear that correctly? We’re about to fuck, but instead you want me to answer a phone call from your boss, my contractor?”

Ryan hums and nods slowly, trailing a hand along the inside of Gavin’s thigh, “i wanna see how quiet you can be,” he drags his fingers through the slick wetness between Gavin’s legs. 

Shuddering, Gavin nods slowly before answering the call, “Geoff?”

“ _Hey,”_ Geoff responds, “ _just calling to check how you guys are._ ”

Gavin gulps and closes his eyes, moving his leg over the back of the couch to give Ryan better access, “we’re doing okay, bored out of our minds. Might come over today if Ryan’s leg is doing okay.”

 _“That’s great, how is he?_ ”

Gavin shudders and opens his eyes into slits, biting his lip at Ryan’s predatory expression as those fingers trace shapes around his rigid cock, “sleeping right now. He woke up in pain so I gave him some painkillers with breakfast, he passed out pretty soon after.”

“ _You’re basically a walking pharmacy, huh?_ ”

Ryan’s fingertips slide into him, spread apart slightly, and retreat. Gavin’s thighs shake gently and he desperately wants to push Ryan’s head down, make him get to work and really play with that service kink.

“ _Gavin_?”

“Huh? Oh,” Gavin clears his throat, “yeah, i am these days, i guess…” he rocks his hips against Ryan’s hand, “old h-habits die hard.” his fingers slide in to the second knuckle, thumb rubbing concentric circles on the sensitive tip of his cock.

“ _Yeah, they sure do._ ” Geoff chuckles slightly, “ _you sure things are okay over there? The Vagabond isn't… forcing you into anything?_ ”

“Nah,” Gavin grins, arching his back and holding the phone away to let out a long sigh before bringing it close again, “nothing i haven't asked for, anyway.”

“ _Gross. I'm being serious_ . _He’s a big dude, and you’re…_ ”

Gavin frowns slightly, “i'm being serious too,” he closes his eyes and tilts his hips slightly to show Ryan the right angle, jerking his thumb on his bad hand upwards to guide him more. His jaw drops open when he finds it, nodding and furrowing his brows slightly, “a-anyway, i bet i could take The Vagabond in a fight any day.”

 _“Don't let him hear you say that_ .” Ryan jerks his fingers roughly in retaliation and Gavin gasps sharply, unable to jerk the phone away fast enough, “ _are you okay?_ ”

Gavin gulps, struggling to keep his eyes open properly when the rough thrusts continue, a third finger sliding in and the heel of his palm rubbing against his throbbing cock instead, “y-yeah, just,” he shudders, squeezing tight around Ryan’s fingers, “just banged my arm.”

“ _Your arm? What’s wrong with it?_ ”

“Broke it in the crash.” he pulls the phone away as Geoff starts shouting, mostly worried. He lets out a quiet keen, puffing out his breath in shaky _hah hah hah_ noises. Ryan clutches the back of his neck with his other hand, dragging him into a possessive kiss. Gavin moans into his mouth and tightens around Ryan’s fingers before fluttering around him, a gush of warmth following as he orgasms. His hips shudder and he tilts his head back, Ryan sucking hickeys down his sternum.

“ _Gavin?”_

“M’here,” he brings the phone back, “sorry, dropped it, i think i’ve split a stitch,” he sucks a breath in through his nose when the subtle movements of Ryan’s hand trip him into a second orgasm. “Gotta go, talk to you later-” he hangs up, tossing the phone down as he arches his back and sobs a broken moan, clutching tighter around his fingers, “Ryan, Ryan, _fuck!”_

Ryan holds him close, grinning and biting at his earlobe, “you good?”

Gavin nods quickly, pushing Ryan to lay back on the couch, hovering over his cock, “my turn, you tosser.”

\--

_Gavin stood at the door to the penthouse, suitcases at his feet. Only Ray and Geoff were standing in front of him, Ray seemed neutral as usual while Geoff was starting to look emotionally constipated._

_“I’ll visit…” Gavin offered weakly, hands curled into tight fists. Ray gave him a knowing look._

_“Sure you will,” Geoff smiled weakly, stepping forwards and hugging him tight, “you better, or at least call me.”_

_“Of course.” Gavin nodded, stepping back and grabbing his bags. His phone beeped. His uber was ready. “I’ll be around if you need me for jobs, too. But not too much.”_

_“Dude,” Ray smirked, “i'm sick of ya already, just go!”_

_Gavin grinned at him before nodding and walking out to the elevator, turning and facing them both for what he thought would be the last time._

\--

_[Gavino freebird]: Geoff_

_[Geoffrey!]: Gavin_

_[Gavino freebird]: say you needed a jack of all trades, maybe a hacker, maybe muscle, maybe an interrogator_

_[Geoffrey!]: ok…_

_[Gavino freebird]: maybe this amazing talented person was willing to work with you, provided they got some time off to handle their affairs_

_[Geoffrey!]: is this how u tell me ur dating Ryan AND cheating on him?_

_[Gavino freebird]: not those types of affairs_

_[Gavino freebird]: wanker_

_[Geoffrey!]: Gavin_

_[Gavino freebird]: yes Geoffrey_

_[Geoffrey!]: take as much time as you need to sort things out_

_[Gavino freebird]: thank you Geoffrey [red heart] [green heart]_

_[Geoffrey!]: welcome home, dipshit_

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading if you made it this far. comments are greatly appreciated, kudos too. if you really loved it, maybe reblog it over on tumblr from my writing blog @ezwra ? i have some fake ah drabbles that arent posted here on there too...


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